


Operation Soccer Locker

by Karnikiss13



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: College, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mary Sue, Mild Smut, Minor Violence, Original Character(s), douche boyfriend, heart eyes, not ashlynn harris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-12-02 00:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20946977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karnikiss13/pseuds/Karnikiss13
Summary: Christen Press has been the amazing forward for her college team and she has a douche boyfriend that is captain of the male college team.  The thing is Ashlynn's been crazy about her the minute they met on the pitch.  What will it take to get her to be more than the friends they have become?  Will her best friend's absurd set up operation work? With all the heart eyes flying around it's sure to be a success.





	Operation Soccer Locker

They were relentless. They were relentless and it was so frustrating. I was getting so fed up with it and right now my nerves were wearing thin. We were here with the team waiting absently for the field to be open since the men’s team was running over. 

It seemed to pass the time they thought best to tease me. They tease me about what their favorite things has been for a year, since Freshman year to be exact, Christen. So here they were ribbing me about how I thought she looked in our new workout gear. Since she wasn’t here, I rolled my eyes at them and stood throwing my hands out to my side in frustration and growled.

“Fine,” I hissed. “Yes, I’m crazy about her okay. She has the most amazing laugh, the most beautiful smile I’ve seen in my whole life. She is like crazy amazing on the field, and she is crazy beautiful. Her green eyes are so pretty I could stare at them forever and- “I paused when the blond defender who had been teasing me cringed and her eyes darted behind me and then quickly back to me.

“And she’s right behind me,” I said squeezing my eyes shut before I spun around. Instantly my heart got lodged in my throat. 

There in all her glory was the object of my unreturned affection. She was in our new training gear with pink cheeks and her eyes softly on my face.

“Pitch is open,” she said softly. I dropped my eyes to the ground, and I knew she had heard me. How much of it I wasn’t sure, but she knew I had been talking about her. 

The team behind me quickly scrambled them feeling my embarrassment loudly. I felt my friend pat me on the shoulder as she passed. I turned my head to her to curse her to hell, but she turned when she passed Christen and gave me two thumbs up and juggled her eyebrows. 

“Get it co-cap,” she called out before she hustled after the rest of the team. 

“Chris,” I said pulling my eyes from the departing team but she had already turned away from me. God damn this was embarrassing. She was slow at her first few steps but then suddenly as if she could feel my eyes on her ran from me. “Fuck,” I hissed to myself. Grabbing my bag, I threw it over my shoulder and went to join the team.

The things is we’ve been friends since we set foot together on the soccer field. She is a forward and I’m a midfielder. We’ve worked together to make it to the championship together last year and win. She is incredibly fast and I can read her and perfectly sail a ball to where she’s going. 

We hang outside the field as well. Weekends we’ll meet up with friends or just the two of us hanging out at the beach. Then we’ll send each other texts throughout the day just keeping up with each other. 

I’ve been crazy about her since day one. I mean I would have to be insane not to be. She’s an amazing person and so incredibly beautiful. Even after games of ninety minutes and we’re all sweaty she still looks amazing. Her long dark hair up in a ponytail and her green eyes so light against the bright sun they almost seem grey.

She had been dating the captain of the men’s team until recently. He was the stereotypical dream guy with his broad shoulders, perfect hair, and that charming smile. They had dated for a few months but broke up before the new year started. She was quiet about it and didn’t seem too upset about it. Really when they dated, she never really spoke about him. The school’s soccer teams just stuffed it down our throats making them take all kinds of pictures and loving all the media attention it got. I mean who wouldn’t love that kind of story? Star players for both the men and woman’s team and both captains falling for each other. 

I was so nervous at practice now that I knew she knew. My passes were a little off and my shots were going wide. She on the other side of the field practicing her shots on goal while I was practicing my passing. Her being the star striker she’s more focused on making the goals and I’m more of getting those balls to her. 

“Logan get it together!” the coached yelled. I looked away from my feet to see if Christen had heard and was knocked right off my feet, literally. A defender had swept my legs for the ball and took me to the ground. 

“Shit Ems,” I moaned laying on my back and covering my eyes from the sun.

“Watch out Logi,” she snickered and reached out a hand to help me up. I waved off the hand and let myself collect myself for a minute. I really need to get it back together. 

“You okay?” a soft asked voice a moment later. My eyes snapped opened to green ones looking down at me with the crease between her eyebrows. 

“Oh yeah,” I said quickly and scrambled to my feet. “Cranks just wanted to get on my list today,” I tried to joke. A smile didn’t come to her lips as my joke fell flat. She gave me a nod and then turned back and headed back to where she had been across the field. 

“Smooth Logi,” Emily hollered. I rolled my eyes at her and jogged to catch up to where they had the ball. 

“So, what do you plan on doing now?” Emily asked as she plopped down on the bench next to me shoving her sock clad feet into her shoes. 

“Doing now? You mean after my concussion?” I asked frowning as she placed her feet on the floor on either side of the bench. She never ties her sneakers and I always cringe at her tripping over her own feet.

“Now that she knows,” she hissed rolling her eyes at me. “Chris knows you’re a love sick fool.”

“I mean I can transfer, I guess. I know UNC has a decent team.” The blond rolls her eyes and shoved me. 

“You got to talk to her. You should do it now. Ask her to go to the dinner with you tonight. You two would look so cute together. She will be all dressed up looking hot and you’ll be drooling after her looking fly.” I chuckled and laced up my shoes looking around for the topic of our conversation. She was just leaving the locker room. Sucking in a deep breath I gave my friend a nod and rushed out of the object of my recently revealed affections. 

“Hey Chris,” I called out as she was a few feet away from the building. She stopped and I hurried up to her nervously clutching at the straps of the backpack over my shoulders. “Hey,” I repeated standing there across from her. 

“Hey,” she responded back softly not yet meeting my eyes.

“So,” I said slowly just going for it. “Tonight, is the family dinner,” I reminded her even though she already knew. She was probably headed home to get ready for it. 

Family dinner was what we called a required night with both soccer teams. We seat together to “build” relationships. However, it’s really just a bunch of harmless flirty and a bit of media coverage. They like to take a lot of pictures and ask questions that aren’t really focused on soccer. 

When she didn’t say anything, I lifted a hand and ran it through my hair. It’s one of my nervous I’m thinking of what to say habits. Chris knows what it means and I can almost swear I see a corner of her mouth turn up. It gave me hope even if I was making it up.

“So, I was thinking me and you could go together. I mean I could pick you up and we could hang out and talk before.” I was sure my voice shook but the words were out. She suddenly frowned at me and then exhaled a deep breath. It was like a bullet to the chest. She was about to shoot me down and tell me no. 

“I’m going with Dermont,” she said with a small downward turn of her mouth. 

Dermont? He was the captain she had dated for a bit before they broke up. They were always the highlight of these family dinners. He would have an arm around her but never really pay attention to her. The meathead was all about the attention he got from playing soccer and having Christen on his arm. 

“Oh,” I said forcing the word past my lips. 

“Hey Loogie,” a voice greeted as an arm slid around Chris’ slim waist. 

“Pike,” I greeted back although the word prick was on my tongue instead. He calls me Loogie which is supposed to be a play on my last name Logan. I get Logi or Loki and when I have a really great game, they bust out Logi Obi Kenobi. 

“Dermont,” Chris hissed at him but didn’t move out of his hold. He shrugged and tilted his head as if it wasn’t a big deal. 

“Ready to go babe?” he asked his fingers curling around her hip and pulled her closer to him. She turned her head into his shoulder and nodded. “Keep it real Loogs,” he shot back before he pulled her away.

I watched her walk away from me without saying a word her back into his arms. She had never said why they had broken up or why she had even started to date him. I mean he is an attractive guy if you’re into them. 

“So why is Pike with Chris?” Emily asked dropping into the seat next to me.

“Good question,” I said with a shrug and sipped at the water wishing it was something with alcohol in it. 

“I thought you were going to ask her to come together.”

“I did,” I said with a snort and put the glass back down with a bit too much force. “She told me she was coming with him. Then he slid in and it looked like they had never been apart.”

My stomach turned as the memory of her turning her head into him replays over and over in my head. She was looking for safety, affection, a place to hide? That had been me before. We we’ve hung out and someone said something that made her cheeks turn pink. She’d turn into me to hide her embarrassment and I would grin ear to ear that she trusted me. Now she had Dermont for that again.

“I don’t understand what she sees in him,” she groaned with an eye roll. “Even if I was straight, he’d be like scrapping the barrel. He’s dumb as bunch of fucking rocks. Chris could do so much better than him.” She bumped into me with her shoulder. “Like you.”

“Yeah well,” I snorted. “She’s not interested. She made that more than obvious.”

“Maybe she already said yes to him and you know how sweet she is. Maybe she didn’t want to break his heart and tell him she was going with her OTP instead.”

I rolled my eyes at her but a smile tugged at my lips. Emily was truly my best friend. She knew exactly what I needed. The woman was the ultimate hype woman and always one hundred percent supportive. I would have been lost starting college without her. 

“I doubt she even knows what that means but thanks Emily. You’re the best.” Emily beamed at me and I snuck a look across the room. There was a brunette that was looking our way but quickly looked away when I caught her eye. 

“Why don’t you go and talk to Vroom. She looks amazing in her dress.”

“Oh ah,” she said her cheeks and the tips of her ears turning red. “I mean you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want to leave you all alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” I assured her with a squeeze to her knee. “Go say hi before Houston starts sniffing around.” A low growl came from the blonde before she got to her feet and nodded. 

“I’ll be back,” she promised before touching her hair and rubbing a finger on the front of her teeth.

“You better kiss her this time,” I shot out and caught her stumble a little as she walked away. 

Two hours later and I was exhausted. We took pictures, we answered questions, and we were feed rabbit food. I just wanted to slip my shoes off and fall face first into my comfortable bed. It’s literally calling my name now. 

Emily had brought Vroom back to the table and there were so into each other a tornado could happen through the room and they would be oblivious. She had her arm around the back of the brunette’s chair with her fingers touching the bare skin of her shoulder. My best friend was so smooth and the brunette was eating it all up. Of course, Emily really really likes this girl. I mean I’ve never seen her this way with one before. 

“Hey Cap,” Emily said breaking my concentration from my phone. I looked up and knew immediately why she had called my attention. 

Chris was across the room alone, and looking right at me. When our eyes meet, she tilted her head to the open door that lead to the outside seating area. It was chilly out but us being California kids were used to the nights here. 

“Get it,” Emily hissed as I got to my feet and followed the dark-haired woman out. 

“Hey,” she greeted softly as I came out. 

She stood leaning with her back against the balcony a beautiful backdrop behind her. I could have cared less about the scenery though. She was more beautiful than the rolling green hills and the orange and purple sunset.

“Hey,” I returned back and stopped in front of her unsure what to do or say. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said softly. “With Dermont.”

“Oh,” I said and forced a shrug. “It’s okay. I mean who wouldn’t want to come with the captain.”

“Yeah,” she said softly crossing her arms over her chest. She looked so amazing in her black dress. It went to the floor and stopped at her shoulders. I was mush for it even though her kit showed more skin.

“You’re a captain too,” she said lifting her eyes to mine and holding them for the first time tonight. Even when we were taking pictures together, I felt like there was some avoidance. Pictures that were even just of the two of us there was a gap I had never felt before. 

“Yeah I mean sure,” I said with a shrug being lost to her green eyes. “You wear the arm band more than me though. Dermont wears it every game. He has his own poster,” I said and a snort snuck out. 

My words made her turn her head and close her eyes like she had been looking for comfort, like she had earlier. Without second guessing myself I quickly filled the gap and pulled her into me. Chris is so strong but she needs support and to be able to fall apart too. Everyone looks to her for so much. She holds our team together that she never gets to collect herself. 

“Hey,” I whispered softly against the top of her head. “What’s wrong?” She shook her head at me pushing it into my chest. I could almost laugh at her stubbornness but at the cold wind nipping at my neck and ears I sobered quickly. Taking off my blazer I kept her close as I draped it on her shoulders. That caused her to wrap her arms around me and burrow in deeper shaking her head against me. 

“Come on Chris,” I whispered closing my eyes and enjoying the smell and feel of her squeezing me. “I’m here.”

“I’m hungry,” she muttered her forehead against my chest and her eyes down at the ground. Now I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from those words and the sound of her absolute adorable pout. I’m so gone! 

“Me too,” I said softly amused as she was placing her shoe on mine still holding onto me tightly. 

“We should get a pizza.” 

“That sounds like a great idea.”

“And come over to my place to eat it and watch a movie.”

“A movie?” I asked as she stepped lightly on my shoe bringing herself up slightly taller. I have a good five inches on her but she fits perfectly into me. “You sure you won’t be asleep before the opening credits finish?”

“I was exhausted,” she whined immediately knowing what I was referring to. “It was just after finals! You were asleep when I woke up anyway.”

“Yeah,” I said ducking my head and placing my lips to her ear. “Because you burrowed yourself in my arms.”

At my whispered declaration she slowly lifted her head away and up, my lips lightly dragging across her cheek as she looked up at me. I held my breath at what her next move was. Was I being too much? Was I not enough? Was I really her OTP?

“I don’t,” she started but stopped to lick her lips. I think a sound left my throat because the corner of her mouth turned up. My god! Please don’t tell me I whimpered like a love sick fool. I can’t help thinking of that tongue licking into my mouth when I have her down on my bed me lying on her. 

“I don’t think you realize how safe you feel Ash,” she breathed. 

Safe. Is safe a good thing? I mean yeah, we all want to feel it but does that mean something more? Does she want me to keep her feel safe and loved? I’d do whatever she asked of me in a heartbeat. 

“Safe,” I whispered to her. “Is safe good?”

“Yes,” she said lifting her hands to the front of my shirt and taking handfuls of them softly tugging me closer to her. “I get such intense anxiety some times and you are amazing.”

“And you’re perfect,” I breathed out as I felt only air separated us. 

“I’m not,” she whispered shaking her head dropping it again as if to look at her shoes. 

“How about perfect for me then,” I said and tilted her head up gently grasping her chin. “And so so,” I said dragging the word out. “Beautiful,” I breathed lowering my head to kiss her. She gasped softly at the movement but her head tilted and her eyes fluttered close. 

I had barely closed my eyes and felt her breath on my lips when her name was hollered out. She sprang back from me nearly shoving me back away from her. The door to the outside flew open and the blonde meathead came marching in. 

“Chris,” he hollered making my ears nearly bleed at the change in volume. “Time to go,” he announced. 

My eyes were instantly glued on her but she kept hers on the ground as she struggled to gain her composure. Her hands fluttered and she found my jacket at her shoulders her hands fretting over it. Dermont went for it quickly and ripped it from her tossing it at me. 

“Come on,” he said slipping an arm around her waist and yanking her along. “See you later Loogie.”

And just like that without any struggle, eye contact, or words she was gone. Thirty seconds ago, she was in my arms about to kiss me and now she’s with that idiot. Shit!

Our ruined moment was showing up on the field. Our relationship was strained and it showed. My balls weren’t landing where they needed to be and Chris was missing altogether or shooting it right to the keeper. 

She hasn’t said a word to me since that night. I was hoping for a text later that night but my phone had stayed silent. Then nothing at school or at the two practices we have had since. Now here we are on the field playing a weak team and we’re not scoring. 

“Logan!” Coach screamed at me across the field as I sent a ball too far out of Chris’ reach. I bowed my head in frustration.

“Dammit,” I hissed to myself hating how this was affecting me. 

“You okay Logi?” a voice asked before a friendly hand hit my shoulder. 

“Yeah,” I said forcing my head up and looked towards where I knew Chris would be. 

At our eyes meet she lifted a thumbs up at me letting me know it was a good pass. It hadn’t been and I know the coach is going to pull me soon if I don’t get it together. Chris was still playing on her intense skill level, but I felt like I couldn’t get it together. It was like I had two corner puzzle pieces and I couldn’t get them to connect.

“Yeah Ems,” I said forcing a smile at her. “I got this.”

“Good,” she said smirking at me. “All we need is one. I got the back don’t worry about that. Just slip your girl a sweet ball already. She’ll take care of the rest.”

I knew she was right and nodded rolling my shoulders back trying to shake it off. Emily was the best of the back line and ran it like the army. I just had to get my shit together and give Chris what she needed. She just needed a decent pass. The woman was deadly with a ball at her feet and she was so fast. She was our best player, the captain. 

I got to take a quick water break when there was a person down on the field from the other team. They were habitual floppers so we milked the break. I got my ear chewed off for the minute and I nodded as the coach yelled at me. It was rightfully so as I was screwing up our team dynamic. 

“Get it together Logi,” I said to myself as they took their free kick. 

My heart raced as we got the ball back quickly and before I knew it the ball was back under my feet. I peeked up for a second and could see the familiar dark head and shot the ball out. Watching it sail into the air I watched her start to run. Her run was so quick and right through their back line. The keeper came out to catch it but Chris kept going. She tricked the keeper thinking she was going right but turned left and cracked it in with a wide-open net. My arms were already in the air before the crowd went off. 

I raced to her and she meet me halfway as she leaped into my arms. She had that familiar beaming smile on her face as she had her arms and legs wrapped around me. The team was celebrating and I felt a few of the team jump on my back crowding around us. 

“You did it!” I cried against her neck. I felt the laugh bubble in her throat and her arms tighten around me. 

“We did it!” she yelled back to me before I had to set her back down. The time for celebrating was quickly passing and I didn’t want to yelled at by Coach. 

Her green eyes were bright and twinkling and her teeth were blazing as she beamed at me when I stepped back from her hold. I grinned back at her feeling like I was finally in my skin again. This is what I needed. This is what makes me happy, playing soccer and making her look good. 

“Ready for another one?” I teased her with a smile as I jogged backwards. 

“Let’s do it,” she beamed at me her smiling never dimming. 

“Way to go Logi,” Emily said slapping my shoulder as she passed me in the bus. “Made our star look pretty damn hot tonight!” I grinned not able to keep it down. Chris was made to stay back to talk and give interviews because her goals were so awesome. Once I had gotten my head out of my ass, she had gone to get a hat trick. I had sent her in two but the third was all her doing as she took a ball from the opposing team and beat them to the goal. 

We sat around for ten minutes keeping our selves busy before Coach and Chris finally came onto the bus. The team started hollering and clapping for her making her blush as she waved them off. It was all a team effort and she always preaches it. Still tonight she made us all look good. 

I was playing on my phone pulling up some music when she dropped into the seat next to me. I looked over to her and she smiled softly silently asking me if it was okay. Emily normally sits next to me but now that she has Vroom, I’m missing a seat buddy. With a small nod she settled in taking her own phone out and untangling her headphones. 

“Hey,” I said as the bus started its gentle roll away from the school. “Just wanted to tell you how great you did tonight. You are so talented.”

“It was your assists,” she said shaking her head at me. “Pretty sick moves there.” 

I snorted out a laugh. That was something I would hear from Emily’s mouth. Shaking my head at her I nodded to her headphones letting her know she could listen to her music. We all like our own ways of decompressing from the field. 

A few songs played before a familiar song started to play. It only got a few beats in before I had paused it. I had downloaded it because it had reminded me of the woman sitting next to me. We had spent a day on the beach as per normal but that day I just remember watching her watching the sunset her green eyes amazing. 

Reaching over I gently tugged at the ear piece in her ear and she popped it out looking at me. Wordlessly I held out my left ear piece for her. I wanted her to hear this song. The song that was all about her. She slid it in without question and I slid the bar back to the beginning and hit play listening to it along with her. 

I watched the words wash over her and once it got to the chorus she seemed to freeze. Immediately I tensed up but then she dropped her head back against the headrest and met my eyes. They were glistening with tears but she had the small smile on the corner of her mouth. I let out a shaky breath as she watched me as the song played. 

“It’s my favorite,” I whispered after she pulled out the earpiece and handed it back to me. 

“You’re my favorite,” she whispered back and nuzzled her head into my neck as she looked for comfort. I couldn’t give her all I wanted with a bar in between the seats and a buss full of team mates. Instead I laid my head on top of hers and moved as close to her as I could get. Her gently sigh was exactly what I needed. 

“Okay Logi this is operation soccer slide,” Emily said as she pulled Vroom into the room with her and plopped onto the bed across from me. 

“I’m sorry what?” I said frowning at her. 

“Look,” she said shaking her hands as if to wave the ridiculous name away. “We’re going to get Chris here so you guys can talk.”

“It’s close to curfew time and she’s a stickler for the rules. She’s not about to risk getting in trouble to talk to me.” Vroom rolled her eyes at me.

“Please that woman has heart eyes when you walk into a room.” My breath caught at her words and I looked to my blond friend for confirmation. 

“Well yeah Ash,” she said with a laugh using my real name letting me know she wasn’t playing. “You both have it bad for each other. I know that Chris makes the goals but you’re the play maker. You both need each other off and on the field.” I rolled my eyes and fell back on the mattress. 

“So, what’s the plan?”

A gentle knock and then a soft hey happened through my door fifteen minutes later. I know I give Emily a hard time sometimes but I guess I don’t give her enough credit. Jumping up from the bed I went to the door and opened it. All the air escaped my lungs at the sight of Chris. She was standing there in her pajamas and I was weak.

“Hey, did you want to take a walk?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” I said nodding. “As soon as I can find my tongue.” She rolled her eyes at me and looked down at her clothing. It was a matching set of long tops and bottoms covered with llamas. I couldn’t have made it up. 

“They’re comfortable,” she cried jabbing me in the side.

“No,” I said quickly not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “They’re adorable. You look so adorable in them.”

“Oh whatever,” she snorted as she reached for my arm and pulled me out. “We can’t all be cool and look good in sweats and a t-shirt.” Thankfully the keycard was already in my pocket as she pulled me along. It was true that was my sleepwear of choice but I know she would look just as good in them as well. 

She walked us to the back of the hotel and to the pool. It was late but the pool was always open even though it was currently empty. She reached down to roll up her pant legs and then sat down slipping her feet into the hot tub. Not wanting to miss out I followed suit and sat beside her dangling my legs in the water.

“I want to apologize first for the dinner,” she said softly. “The thing with Dermont.”

“No,” I said quickly. “It’s fine you had plans already.”

“Plans I didn’t want to go through with. Not when you asked me.”

“Yeah?” I asked softly looking at her. She turned from looking down at the water and nodded at me. 

“Ashlynn,” she breathed and shook her head. “I don’t think there’s more than a few minutes that go by that I don’t think about you. I wonder what you’re doing. If you’re hanging out with Emily and what crazy things has, she come up with. If you’re staring at your phone waiting for a text to come through from me. If your practicing soccer and know I wouldn’t be half the player if it weren’t for you.” She sighs deeply and reaches out and lies her hand over mine. “If you crave me as much as I do sleeping in your arms.” 

My breath whooshed out of my lungs and I blinked at her helplessly. It wasn’t supposed to be this easy. She’s too perfect; she’s not supposed to like me. Christen is everything I could ever want and here she was telling me I had a chance. I had a chance with her!

“Oh,” I breathed and tilted my head again just I had done before when I had nearly kissed her. This time she had the small tease of a smile on her lips as she followed me. She turned her head and closed her eyes as she leaned in to meet my kiss. 

“Yes!” a voice cried out causing us both to yank back. “Cannonball!” A loud splash followed and I met eyes with a wincing dad.

“Sorry,” he said softly to us and followed his son to the empty pool.

My shoulders slumped as a laugh came from beside me. I turned and frowned at a giggling Chris. She was holding a hand to her chest laughing almost looking like she couldn’t contain it. I pouted at her and she gave me a gentle shove. 

“Hey,” I grumbled at her. “I was going to kiss you.”

“Oh, I know,” she said finally stopping her laughing but still grinning. “Your face though was priceless.” 

“Chris,” I whined and got to my feet. Didn’t she feel the same? Didn’t she want to know how I tasted? How my lips would feel against hers? What about my tongue wrapped around her's?

“Here,” she said holding her hands up and I reached down helping pull her to her feet. “We should probably get to bed anyway. It’s past curfew.” I licked my lips and nodded trying to contain my disappointment. 

“I’ll walk you to your room.” She laughed softly at my words and I looked over her as we started the walk. 

“I know.”

“What?”

“That you would walk me to my room. That’s why I say you feel safe to me Ashlynn. You just do those things without thinking them.” I helped the door open for her as I thought about it. Was it because of Chris or would I do it for anyone?

“I’m on three,” she said from behind me and pushed the button. I was about to turn to face her but she leaned into me. Looking at her reflection I saw her smile as she cuddled into my back.

“Comfortable?” I laughed.

“You’re so tall and warm,” she breathed her face in my back. “I wish I could keep you as my pillow.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” I joked and earned a laugh as the elevator door opened. 

Taking her hand from behind me I pulled her along as I walked along looking for the room number she had mumbled into me. She followed behind me moving to lace her fingers with mine making me grin like a fool. Her hand fit so perfectly in mine even though it was smaller and so much softer. 

“Here we are rule keeper,” I teased stopping in front of her door and turned to face her. She shot me a pout and I nearly fell to my knees at the look. 

“What?” I breathed out surprised that I could talk. 

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered.

“I don’t think your roommates going to like sharing their bed with me.”

“You’d be sharing with me,” she corrected knowing me down. 

“Chris,” I croaked shaking my head at her. “You can’t say things like that to me. I’m only so strong.” She smiled that soft smile at me and then moved one hand up and curled it around the back of my neck. Her fingers scrapped at the soft hair at the back of my head. 

“Ash,” she breathed my name out. Then like she had done this a million times before she stood on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips to mine. 

It felt like nothing I had ever felt before. I have kissed other girls and even a few guys before I figured it all out. None of them compared to this. I felt like I was wrapped all in her. Her smell, her smile, her taste was all I could feel. I made sure to move my hands once I got control again and placed on the small of her back holding her against me. The small moan that it caused to escape her lips went straight to my head. 

We kissed forever there right outside her door past curfew in the silent halls on the third floor of a hotel. Okay maybe it wasn’t all night but I had lost concept of time when she was pressed against me our lips moving so gently against each other’s. 

“Ash,” she breathed my name out again after she slowly pulled back. I helped her move back to stand on her own feet and took in the pink in her cheeks. She looked so beautiful and kissed well. Her pink mouth was red and slightly swollen.

“Chris,” I whispered and slowly pressed my forehead against hers. I kept my eyes closed enjoying the feel of her close and soft.

“I can’t believe I waited that long to kiss you,” she whispered. I laughed softly drunk on her. 

“I didn’t know it was ever an option. Otherwise I would have kissed you the first practice we had together.”

She laughed softly and slipped her arms around my back bringing me close to her. I would go and stay where ever she wanted. She has no idea how absolutely crazy I am for her. When her hands started to gently run up and down my back I nearly purred content.

“Can we just stay like this?” I whispered to her, her soft breath against my lips. 

“You’ll have to hold me up eventually. I’m pretty tired after all this adrenaline spiking through me today.”

“Oh yeah,” I said remembering our game earlier and her goals. “A hat trick.”

“More from kissing you.” I grinned goofy at that and tilted my head and kissed her softly again. 

“You should go in,” I whispered although it was the last thing I wanted. I would stand here and hold her up the entire night if she needed me to. “We have a long bus ride back early in the morning.”

“I know,” she sighed and pulled slightly back from me but kept her hands on my hips. “Have breakfast with me in the morning?”

“I’ll meet you down there,” I said with a nod. Kissing her forehead softly I squeezed her to me once more and stepped back. “Sleep well.”

“Good night Ashlynn,” she said softly leaning back against the door after opening it. 

“Good night Christen,” I said and stood waiting until she got into her room before I was going to leave. She knew she had to go in and rolled her eyes playfully at me before slipping in and the door clicking softly closed. 

My emotions were running so high I barely made it to the elevator before I was pulling out my phone. I noticed I had an air drop and shook my head. It was probably Emily sending me a picture or a video of something she did or saw. 

Pulling it I couldn’t fight the grin that overtook my entire face. It was of us, Christen and me. She must have just taken it when we were standing outside her door our foreheads pressed together us holding each other close. Immediately I accepted the picture and saved it to my photos. I shot her an excited thank you and finally pressed my floor number. 

Hey! I shot Chris a text as I walking back to my room. Look what Cranks did!

Oh god! She shot back instantly making me grin. She knew my best friend was always in some kind of mischief. I loved how she answered back so quickly!

Without sending anything else I sent her the picture. I stared down at my phone waiting for her response as I walked back to my room. She’s got to like it too. We looked so great together. 

After a few minutes passed and nothing came I started to panic. Was it too much? God did it scare her? Why wasn’t she responding back? My heart was thundering as I slid under the covers my eyes not leaving the phone. 

I shrieked a little when my phone started to ring suddenly. I quickly silenced it and hit the answer button not wanting to wake up my slumbering roommate. My heart was thundering as I held to my ear knowing Chris was on the other end.

“I set it as my lock screen.” My chest expanded as I let out a long-held breath. I think I held that one in since I sent her that picture. 

“Hey,” I said and snuggled down into the pillows. “She was sneaky but I approve of this.”

“She said you needed to talk to me about some plays you had been working on. That’s why I came to your room earlier.”

“Oh um,” I said remembering Emily saying she had something up. Opening my mouth about to make up some excuse I closed it when Chris’ laugh came over the phone. 

“You definitely had some game.”

“Oh god,” I groaned at her and shut my eyes in embarrassment. “Stop it.”

“So smooth,” she snickered.

“Chris,” I whined and threw a pout although she couldn’t see it. 

“Okay okay,” she laughed. My heart was racing at the sound. She had no idea how she was so beautiful. “What?”

“Huh?” I asked. “I didn’t say anything.” She chuckled again.

“You just did this cute little dreamy sigh.” Oh god! I am such a dork. Turning my head into the pillow but keeping the phone pressed to my ear I groaned out loud. 

“This is so embarrassing. You should go so I can keep some dignity.”

“No way, not until you tell me about that sigh.”

“God,” I cried feeling my face heat up.

“Come on Ash. What makes you sigh like that?” she laughed. I threw an arm over my eyes and released one more groan. 

“You,” I choked out. “I was just thinking about how so beautiful you are.” 

“Yeah?” she breathed.

“God yes,” I whispered. “Your smile, your laugh, your face. You’re so beautiful Chris.” My heart was racing after my declaration. Was it too much? Did she think I was a pathetic fool? God don’t let me have scared her off already.

“Thank you, Ash,” she said softly. “I think you are too. Your smile is my absolute favorite.” 

“So, my sigh wasn’t a huge dorky thing?” I asked moving my arm and now smiling up at the ceiling. 

“Oh well I think you’re still a dork but it was so cute.”

“But I’m your dork,” I shot back before I had control of my tongue. 

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” she said softly around a yawn. 

“Me too,” I said letting out another dreamy sigh. She laughed again at me. I laughed along with her. 

“You should get to sleep. I’m going be downstairs waiting for you super early so I don’t miss any time with you.”

“Then I better get to sleep so we can sneak a few kisses before anyone else gets there.”

“Yeah,” I said grinning like a fool. “Good night Chris.”

“Good night Ash.”

I ended the call and quickly changed my lock screen to the picture Emily had sent me. Plugging my phone in I went back to bed smiling. I was so happy how today went. I never thought I would ever have a chance more than just a crush. She was my crush and so much more. 

I was sitting with my attention on my phone waiting for Chris. The food was slowly being put out and the room was empty. I was super impatient thinking of seeing her and was up before my alarm could even go off. Making sure I was quiet I jumped into the shower and raced down here.

“Hey,” a voice whispered before I felt a kiss drop to the top of my head. I snapped my head up and my breath stole at those bright twinkling green eyes. 

“Hey,” I greeted back with a goofy smile on my face. I’m a lost cause and I could care less. 

She smiled at me obviously looking like a goof but still leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine softly. I dropped my phone quickly and grabbed at her hips pulling her closer. She had height me since I was sitting. Without any struggle she moved between my legs and placed her hands on my cheeks holding me close as we kissed.

I chased her lips a few times when she pulled back but finally let her escape as she laughed softly. She tucked a strand behind my ear and smiled down at me. God, she’s so damn beautiful it feels like my heart is trying to beat right out of my chest.

“Morning,” she breathed out. 

“Morning.” I looked behind her at the still empty room. “You look beautiful.”

“So do you.” I bit down on my tongue and went for it anyway.

“I missed you.” Her posture changed a little and she seemed to sink into herself. I kept my grip tight on her hips. 

“Oh Ash,” she breathed and leaned in for another soft slow kiss. “I missed you too.”

“Are you hungry?” I asked knowing soon people are going to be dragging themselves in. The bus will be leaving in a few hours. 

“Is that a trick question?” My cheeks turned red at her smirk and I shook my head. 

“Food?” she shook her head. “Some coffee?”

“God yes,” she breathed at that. “I had trouble sleeping last night.”

“Oh, was Pops a snorer?”

“No, I just couldn’t stop thinking about this girl,” she teased me and ran her thumb over my jaw. 

“Let me get you some caffeine. I need to make up for it.” She backed up a bit so I could stand and immediately stepped into me wrapping her arms around my waist. 

“You know how I like my coffee?”

“Pretty sure,” I said softly and kissed her. “Let me try?”

“Okay let’s see how you do,” she teased. “One more kiss though.”

“Okay, I think I can manage that,” I said with a grin and leaned down kissing the teasing smile from her lips.

I had got her coffee right the first time and was not sitting next to her on the bus ride home. We weren’t being over affectionate but I was holding her hand and playing with her fingers in between the seats. She had her head tilt back and her eyes closed but by the sound of her breathing I could tell she was still awake. 

“Hey,” I whispered to her softly squeezing a few fingers gently. 

“Hmm,” she hummed turning her head to me and opening those amazing green eyes at me.

“I’m sorry your legs hurt.” She frowned and shook her head not understanding. We hadn’t played today and she was fine. “From running through my mind all night,” I finished with a grin. 

Her laugh was instantaneous and warm. I beamed at her and squeezed her hand again wanting to bring it to my lips and kiss the back of it. Letting her get some rest was important but I needed to interact with her as much as possible before we get back. Then we’d all go back to our places and pass out until it’s time to go back to school on Monday. 

“Smooth,” she said smiling at me her cheeks wide and her teeth bright. 

“I got a lot more than where that came from.”

“Well than I look forward to hearing them all.” I nodded so happy that she enjoyed and encouraged my cheesy pick-up lines. 

“Can do, but maybe only one a day. Got to keep you interested, you know?”

“Ash,” she breathed and moved her head so her lips were at my ear. “You already have me hooked,” she promised. I swooned at those words and then melted when she placed a quick kiss right behind my ear.

“Good to know,” I breathed and took advantage of her being closer now. I laid my head on top of hers and closed my eyes when she dropped hers on my shoulder. A few hours nap close to her sounded like a good time. 

“So,” Emily said dragging out the word as she stretched next to me on the field. 

“Yeah,” I said rolling my eyes knowing exactly where she was going with this. It was going to be all about Christen. I didn’t hang out with her yesterday because instead I spent it out at the beach with the brunette. 

“Are you guys married yet or is that next week?” she asked and rolled away right before my arm flew out to smack her. She laughed at her joke and juggled her eyebrows. “Those are motherfucking heart eyes,” she said tossing a head tilt behind me. 

I turned and I felt myself melt at the bright smile Chris threw me. In return I gave her own and she scrunched up her nose making me swoon on the spot. I fell back to the field beneath me with a hand over my pounding heart. We had decided we weren’t going to hide anything but, on the field, we were going to be professionals. 

“You are so gone,” Emily laughed as she positioned herself to held stretch my hamstring. I nearly winced at the push but the smile was hard to push away. “Seriously though I’m really happy for you Logi. Just looking at her I can tell she feels the same way as you.”

“You really think so?” I asked. Emily’s known about my crush on her since freshman year. 

“Yeah,” she said with a loud boisterous laugh. “She’s always smiling but with you and at you it’s different. You can tell she’s really happy and that’s all on you.”

“I want to make her happy Ems. Like really really happy.”

“I know,” she chuckled and switched to my other leg. “Just take it slow though Ash. I know you want to profess your undying love for her but just enjoy the moment okay. She’s not going anywhere. Not by the way she’s always looking at you or the way you pass her sweet balls.”

“Oh yeah,” I said laughing. “It’s all about those passes.”

“Wait maybe it is,” Emily teased lowering my leg and standing. “She may be using you for those. I’ll give her the best friend talk though and see if I need to weed her out.”

“Emily don’t you dare scare her away,” I scolded her. 

“Hey, that is literally my job Ashlynn,” she said shaking her head at me with a scowl. “I mean you already had a talk with Monica.” She’s right, I did have a chat with Vroom about my best friend. I wasn’t above implied threats if she hurts her. 

“Okay okay,” I said holding my hands up in surrender and shaking my head. “Just don’t scare her away.”

“Pul-lease,” she dragged out and rolled her eyes. “Like I said,” she whispered as I felt a gentle hand on my hip. “Heart eyes motherfucker.”

“Hey you two,” Chris greeted her fingers lightly wrapping over my hip. “Ready to knock some balls.”

“Ready my captain oh my captain!” Emily joked as she saluted and lifted a leg in the air. I rolled my eyes at her as she ran off leaving the two of us alone for a moment. Her touch on my hip seemed nothing explicit but it was soft and intimate.

“You smell so good,” she whispered her breath warm on my neck. 

“Don’t tease right now,” I said softly tilting my head towards her. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Hmm,” she said and bit her bottom lip knowing she was teasing me. “Guess you just have to wait a few hours and then we can go back to my place.”

“God,” I groaned as her fingers squeezed my hip. “I really like that you don’t have a roommate.” Her nose scrunched up making her eyes light up.

“Yeah, I really want to study without any distractions.”

“Study?” I said unable to look away but feeling a bit disappointed. 

“Yeah,” she said giving me one last squeeze and started away.

“Chris,” I whined at her back.

“Study you,” she shot back over her shoulder with a grin and an adorable two eyed wink. I instantly clutched at my chest my heart beating triple time. Yeah okay Emily was right. Heart eyes motherfucker!

Things were going amazing! We’re unrelenting and unstoppable on the field. Three games in a row and we’ve haven’t let a point in. Chris has been killing it with more goals than should be allowed in a game. She’s always smiling even more than she had been before it that was possible. I can’t help but think some of this has to do with me. 

I’ve been sending her in those sweet balls but always showing her how I feel about her. The other day after she had a big exam that she had stressed out over I had a cheeseburger ready from her favorite place and a cheesy movie ready on my computer for us to watch. She took one look at what I had done and melted into me giving me the sweetest soft kiss I had ever felt. 

We were on the cover of a few papers and I made sure my mom kept the one with us doing the Captain Morgan salute to each other. The other one was with us doing one of our goofy handshakes we had fun making up. That one I framed myself and it was hanging in my room. 

Everything was going so damn great I didn’t think of worrying about anything. Emily had her talk with Christen and came back to me rolling her eyes. She had told me it was a waste of her breath because my girl was head over cleats for me. I couldn’t hide the grin and Emily had slugged me in the arm with a chuckle as she rolled her eyes at the silly look on my face.

“Mmm,” Chris moaned pulling her mouth away from me. I went instantly to her exposed throat my lips dragging against her pulse. “You taste like chocolate.”

“I had a Snickers while I waited for you to finish,” I breathed and took a bite of her throat making her whimper and tighten her hand in my hair. 

“God,” she croaked pulling my head back towards her and licking into my mouth. I groaned as her tongue tangled with mine. 

In the past this was one of the things I had always wondered what it would feel like, what it would taste like. Now that I have it there are no words that exist that I can describe it. She tasted like Chris and felt like Chris and that it was my happiness. 

We’ve been doing this for about a month now and I made sure to really follow Emily’s advice. I was just taking it slow and living in the moment. That meant although I was ready to strip her naked and keep her underneath me for days, I was content just spending time kissing and touching her. 

“Ash,” she breathed and rocked up into making my eyes roll back. 

“Fuck,” I breathed out the friction hitting me right where I was aching. I ripped away from her mouth and dropped my face into her neck. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Chris cried out at my sudden departure from her mouth. 

“Nothing, nothing,” I promised moving to one of her favorite spots behind her ear. Kissing it was a mistake because she moaned and rocked up into me again. This time I could feel pressure building from the constant ache I get from lying over her kissing and touching her. 

“Chris,” I groaned tears coming to my eyes. “You have to stop that.”

“Stop what?” she asked one hand tangled in my hair the other under my shirt running along my spine. “You feel so good Ash.”

“You too,” I promised her and reached down with my weight on my elbows and grasped her hips. “But I’m going to explode if you keep rocking up into me. You feel so fucking good and I’m about to burst from it.”

“It’s okay,” she said shaking her head and reached down pulling my hands from her hips. “It’s okay Ash,” she said bringing my hands up towards her head. “Feel good,” she breathed and rocked up into me again. My vision swam for a second and when I went to pull my hands away to stop her again, she tightened her hold on me. 

“Chris please,” I croaked not sure what I was asking her for and dropping my face into her neck. “Please.”

“Ash,” she said when she knew my hands weren’t moving, she slid her own down and gripped my butt. Her hands tightened around my firm butt and guided me into her steady thrusts. “Feel good Ash.”

“Mmm,” I croaked into her neck finally following her lead and rocking into her. “Chris,” I whined as the pressure was building up from my toes. 

“Yeah baby,” she breathed her lips on my ear her breath warm on the cartilage. “Come for me baby.”

“Feels so good,” I moaned into her neck. “Want you inside me,” I breathed the words escaping me without my permission. I wouldn’t have said that. God, how embarrassing!

“Soon,” she promised. “Just let it go now.”

“Chris,” I groaned out loud as my clit throb against the seam of my jeans her thrusting up into me her lips on my ear her hands guiding my motions. 

A few minutes after I calmed down from the orgasm, I lifted my head to look into bright green eyes and that soft secret smile that was only for me. I felt a little embarrassed but she was looking at me with such tenderness I knew I had nothing to be ashamed of. Chris had wanted it to happen and I made her happy by following her lead. 

“Hey,” she whispered moving her hands and cupping my face and moving my hair away from my pink cheeks. “How do you feel?”

“Good,” I said lowering my eyes to her throat. “So good,” I said looking at the soft red mark I had left on her neck. I kissed it gently knowing I had nothing to be embarrassed about but I didn’t return the favor for her. 

“Ashlynn, look at me honey. Please,” she asked when I kept my head down my nose brushing her throat gently. Swallowing down a sigh I lifted my head slowly and met a truly serious looking Christen. 

“I’m sorry,” I said softy feeling guilty all of a sudden.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” she asked stroking my jawline. 

“I just said something that was too fast and then I didn’t return the favor. I’m just-it wasn’t right.”

“Honey,” she said and then when my eyes drifted down again, she gripped my chin. “Baby,” she breathed. My eyes snapped up. She knows I’m a sucker for her calling me that. “I’ve come without you even knowing a few times while we were making out.” I think my eyes bugged out of my head because she smirked and ran her thumb over my bottom lip. “I don’t think you know what you do to me.”

“How come I didn’t know?” I asked after kissing her thumb.

“They came really suddenly.”

“Oh,” I said frowning at her. “I wish I knew.”

“Why?”

“Cause I want to see your face. I want to hear it,” I said with a shrug trying to play it off. It was the truth though. I couldn’t think of anything sexier. 

“Hmm next time then.” I nodded and went back to kissing her neck hoping she would forget about the last part. Her gripping my chin and tugging again should that she knows me better than that. “The other thing.”

“Yeah,” I said feeling heat on my cheeks. “I was-I was in the moment I guess,” I said trying to shrug it off. 

“So, you don’t want me to touch you?”

“Oh,” I said swallowing the lump in my suddenly dry throat. “No,” I said and started a nervous nibble on my bottom lip. “I do want you to touch me. Maybe it’s just too soon right now.”

“Maybe a little but we’ll get there okay? I really want us to get there together.” I nodded and smiled when she pulled me down into a kiss. 

“I really like the sounds of us doing things together.”

“Because you’re my big sap.” I beamed at her and kissed her deeply. 

“I am totally yours,” I breathed grinning down at her. She matched my smile before pulling me back for more kissing. 

We were out on the field having a rough game. The opposing team is good but they play rough and physical. It’s had too many fouls and a few yellow cards already. I know Emily’s pulled one from a late tackle. It was mentally draining too and we were at a scoreless game in the first half.

Every ball I was sending to Chris was quickly getting taken either from an aggressive defender or they fouled her. I’m sure tomorrow my jaw will be sore from clenching it so much every time they yanked her jersey or sent two or three players on her. 

As much as I love this sport this is a game that I want over and I wanted it over thirty minutes ago. If I just focus on a little more than fifteen minutes and we can get off the field for a little bit I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay if those idiots stay off of Chris. I need to stay focused on the game and not worrying about her. 

What felt like fifty instead of fifteen the whistle blew. I groaned out loud ready to go and just refocus for the second half. Any time away from these fools is time well spent. I dropped my head and went to jog into the tunnel to the locker room. My arm was grabbed and I frowned up at Emily. I know she has to feel the same thing.

“Ash that wasn’t the halftime whistle.” I frowned at her shaking my head. My body sure felt like it was time already.

“What?”

“Chris is down,” she said tightening her grip on my arm. 

“What?” I repeated sure I heard her wrong. Chris may stubble sometimes but she doesn’t go down. She is like those toys that you can knock around and they just don’t fall.

“Stay here,” she said her grip tight.

I’m not sure why she was do adamant about it but turned my head to look towards the opponent’s goal. They were a crowd and I couldn’t see what was happening. There were some arms raised and as I focused suddenly, I could hear shouting. I know that kind of noise. Someone was trying to fight a card. 

Our team medic was on the field her feet sticking out from the crowd circled around. She runs out all the time when someone’s down longer than a minute or two. I mean it’s not a big deal. Chris is down but she’ll jump to her feet any minute and shake herself off. She’ll give me a dazzling smile with those too bright teeth her nose scrunched up. 

Frowning at everything I looked to the big screen over the goal looking for a replay. I know the commentators are probably talking about it now. They’ll replay it and the stadium will boo but then clap because Chris will get up. She’s a favorite on our team. She’s my favorite.

Slowly the scene went back and then they were showing what had happened. Their team captain had made a cheap hit and plowed right into Chris not even taking the ball. I watched as Chris got a cleat on the top of her foot with an elbow to the face before she tumbled to the ground rolling over and over before she came to a stop and was stilled. 

My stomach felt so sick as they played it again and again. I felt like I was going to vomit but my veins felt like there was a fire burning in them. Without realizing it I must have tugged my arm because Emily tightened her hold even more.

“No Ashlynn,” she hissed. “Wait!”

I growled and yanked it away spinning around to where the captain was standing around taking a water break. She didn’t even look like she cared. It wasn’t a big deal to her that Christen was on the ground and hurting. 

I don’t even remember getting over to her. All I remember was the feel of her teeth against my fist as I cracked her in the face. Instantly I felt people pushing and yanking at me. I tried to get back to her. I wasn’t done making her feel pain like she deserved. People were yelling and screaming as they yanked me back.

“Logan stop! Stop it! Get her off the field now!” I know I remember seeing Coach yelling at me and the referee getting in my face with a red card. It was the last of my worries. How was Chris? One last look at the field before they pushed me out, I saw them make the signal for stretcher. 

I didn’t get to see Christen until later that night. She was taken to the hospital. Thankfully after I got taken off the field, she had woken up shortly after that. Emily told me about it when I was getting ready to leave. 

“Hey,” I said dropping into the seat next to her bed not reaching out for her hand. I felt so embarrassed at my actions and I know she’ll be upset. What I did was something the other team would have done. I showed no class and got suspended from the next two games. 

“Hey,” she whispered back her eyes burning into me. 

“How are you feeling? Your head okay?”

“Emily told me what happened,” she said getting to the point and avoiding my questions. “And then showed me the highlights.”

I frowned down at my folded hands feeling like my mouth was full of sand. She wants an answer but I suddenly can’t talk. How can I say that I had to protect her and that meant taking down the biggest bully? Doesn’t she know she’s the most important thing to me and I’ll do whatever it takes.

“Ashlynn.”

I swallowed down the lump in my throat when she used my full name. When she uses it that means she means business. It’s been said in minutes of passion when she needed me to focus and in times of affection when she was so happy. Now she wants my words and attention and they’re all stuck away where I was trying to hide them. 

“You got a red card,” she sighed when I didn’t respond. “Your disqualified for the next game. You can’t even be on the bench.”

“I know how it works,” the words snapped out without me thinking of them. I could hear the gnashing of her teeth snapping together. Great Ashlynn get her even more upset than she already is at you. Disappointed Ash, I need to correct myself. She’s disappointed in me. It had been clear in her voice. 

“I won’t be in the next two actually. The NCAA disqualified me for a game too.”

“Great,” she said her voice heavy and annoyed. “I hope this is what you wanted Ashlynn. You’re gone for two games.”

“I know,” I grumbled.

“You’re a captain. You should know better than sink to their level. It was too petty and so below you.”

“You got hurt!” I yelled out and jumped to my feet. 

Her words had felt like nails on a chalkboard and I couldn’t take any more. Didn’t she know that is the only reason it happened. I could care less if they fouled us all night and got dirty goals. That was the least of my cares. 

“I flipped because you were on the ground and not moving. She was out of line and she deserved what she got. I would have done more but dammit Christen! What do you want me to say? My girlfriend was on the damn ground because some fucking bitch thought she could take you down! All I could see was red. Emily tried to stop me but they showed the replay. They showed the replay on the big fucking monitor and I had to watch it over and over in slow motion. Do you know how I felt? Do you even understand how I feel about you Christen?!” 

My throat felt raw and my eyes burned. I still couldn’t look at her. My words had just felt so heavy. I had never raised my voice at her and now I had just yelled. It made me feel like I was just another piece of shit just like that captain I had hit. 

I picked up the flowers I had brought with me for her and put them back on the chair. They had dropped to the floor when I had jumped up. I can’t be here right now. My emotions are running too high.

Without ever meeting her eyes I spun on my heels and escaped the room. I didn’t hear anything from her as I left the room. Right now, I just need some space. Space to think and get over this heavy toxic feeling in my chest.

Took Chris home

I blinked at the text and shut my sore tired eyes. Emily was such a great person. I really love how she’s always played goofy but she’s so sweet. She’s stepped in and taken care of Chris for me. I didn’t even have to ask.

She didn’t really talk. Just wanted to make sure you got home ok. I lied and told her you did. Please come home already Ash.

I rolled over in the bed and pressed my face closer to the warm back. She reached for my hand and pulled it tighter to her squeezing it tightly. I breathed in the scent deeply wanting Chris’ but knew this was better. This right here was better for me.

“You alright?” she asked me.

“No,” I croaked my voice almost all gone from all the yelling and crying I’ve done. “No.”

“You can stay as long as you need.” I nodded against her back closing my dry exhausted eyes. 

“Thanks mommy,” I breathed against her wishing I was a kid again and she could take away all the bad things for me. 

Being suspended really sucks. I can’t be on the field to practice, I can’t support my team on the pitch, and I can’t play in the game. They had to move the formation around and have two forwards in front instead of having Chris playing the striking forward. 

I could still sit in the box and watch them play. Emily had been happy to see me again when I slipped back into our place a few days later. I had sent her a text the next morning letting her know where I was. 

I still haven’t seen Chris yet. Right now, I can see her on the field but no one on one. We didn’t call or send any texts. I think my phone knows there was something wrong because on my message page it suggested I message her. It was something we did all the time when we were apart.

She looked amazing as always in her kit with the captain’s arm band around her bicep. Her calmness was keeping the team collected even though they were down a player. She will keep them all together and run the team. She will run her team.

I feel like an idiot on how I handled that interaction with her in the hospital. She was upset too but I just went to a hundred without letting her speak. I know I was upset but this is a partnership and she has a right to how she feels too. Instead I just let my emotions bully me and then ran out. 

As if she knew I was there her eyes raised and she looked right at me. My breath caught. Even across the field so far away I could still see the green of her eyes. I lifted a shaky hand for a wave hoping she would give me a chance to talk to her after the game. 

Without any type of communication, she dropped her eyes and turned away from me and walked away. My chest ached at the slump of her shoulders. She was so upset and had so much on her plate now. I am her co-captain and now she has to keep everyone focused and controlled on her own. I’m an idiot!

She did a great job wrangling them all in. We didn’t score but we didn’t let the opposing team do it either. A scoreless game and the team all looked exhausted. One more game and I could be back. I’ll be back and scoring and yelling at everyone to focus and man their players. 

I hurried down when the opposing team cleared out and raced over to Emily. She was talking to Vroom her hands telling a story. I threw an arm around her shoulder and she smiled at me slipping one around my waist. 

“Way to keep it clean Cranks,” I professed proud of the backline. “One more game and I’ll be barking at you again.”

“You can’t be here,” a voice came from behind us. 

“Oh,” I said turning and seeing Chris. “Hey there.”

“You can’t be on the field,” she repeated herself. 

“Yeah right,” I said hating how she was looking at me right now. Actually, how she wasn’t looking at me really. It was more like through me as if I was just some unimportant person. “Great job Ems. I’ll see you later at home.”

“Okay,” she said releasing me grabbing her things from the field leaving me and Chris alone on the field.

“Oh yeah so do you think I can talk to you? I mean you know after you’re done with everything.”

“I have an exam that I’m meeting some people with to study,” she said still not looking at me.

“Oh, okay yeah,” I said trying to wave off the fear gripping my chest. “Maybe tomorrow then. After Calc when you have your break?”

“I have plans,” she said simply shutting me down again. 

“Right plans,” I repeated staring at her face. Her smile was gone and her posture was tense and her shoulders weighted. “When you’re available maybe send me a text. Or you could call me.”

“You really need to get off the field before we get fined.” Her voice was clipped and cold. This was because of me, I caused this. 

“Okay Chris,” I said my shoulders turned inward. “I got the message.”

I turned to leave and watched her after I stopped half way across. She didn’t stop once to look back at me. Chris just kept going with her back to me. Yeah, I messed this up. 

I waited three more days before I couldn’t do it anymore. My body physically missed her and my sleep was horrible. I kept rolling over reaching over for her and when she wasn’t there buried my face into the other pillow. Although it didn’t do anything because it didn’t smell like her anymore. 

With a held breath and a pizza in one hand I used the other to knock on her door. I heard a voice and then the door swung open to a blonde. My eyes blinked hard taking in Houston standing at Chris’ door her looking like the model her resume says right next to soccer superstar. Why was she here? God, why is here?

“Logi!” she greeted grinning at me. “Hey guys! Logi’s here!” she called out opening the door. My heart started beating again when the room opened up showing a bunch of other girls sitting around the room. I licked my lips trying to catch my breath as an irritated Chris came to the door.

“I have plans Ashlynn,” she said her tone not happy at all.

“Oh, but she brought pizza Chris!” Houston said pulling it from my hand. “Thanks Ash,” she called over her shoulder as she walked away the other girls scrambled behind her.

“Well,” I said trying to force a smile on my lips. “I brought your favorite but it looks like you might not get any.”

“I have friends over Ashlynn. We’re studying.”

“I’m sorry,” I said with a shy shrug. “I just haven’t heard anything and I wanted to see if we could talk.” She exhaled heavy and reached into the front of her pocket. I frowned as she reached out and held a twenty for me. Instantly I shook my head dread seeping into me. 

“No Chris,” I said my breath shaky. “Don’t.”

“I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want to inconvenience you. I’m sure they all eat it.” 

“Inconvenience me?” I cried tears clouding up my eyes. “Chris taking care of you isn’t like that at all.” 

“Ash,” she said shaking her head as I hurriedly wiped a few tears that had escaped. “You need to go. I don’t want to do this.”

“Do this?” I asked fear thrumming my entire body. “Do us?” I asked terrified of her answer.

“Bye Ashlynn,” she answered and closed the door on my face.

I was finally back on the field and was just focusing on the ball at my feet. As long as I have that then I can’t notice how everything hurts. Everything hurts and I hate it. Emily has given me space and been there when I needed her. Today I just needed the ball and the net.

My touches were a bit rusty but I kept at it. I kept at it not looking or interacting with anyone. A few people tried to talk to me but I just walked past them. I know they’re happy I’m back but I just need to focus on this. I need to focus on me, otherwise a dark-haired woman across the field will cause me to cry again.

She had never said we were over but it had been implied. We still haven’t spoken and my phone has been silent. I guess I should have known this would happen. Come on really! Like someone as amazing as Christen would really be with the likes of me. More like she would be a person like Dermont only this one not a douche. Someone not like me. 

I maybe should have been focusing on others and other things. Maybe because a sailing ball came and clocked me right in the side of the head. It instantly made me drop to my knees and spit a bit of blood out. Jesus everything was spinning!

“Christ Ashlynn!” Emily cried running and dropping to her knees at my side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah course,” I said trying to wave her off. I stood to get to my feet and stumble a bit falling back to my knees. 

“Stay down,” an all too familiar voice commanded with a firm hand on my shoulder making sure I did. She waved over the medic as I watched the grass move in waves in front of me. 

“I’m fine,” I hissed and shrugged off her hand. I felt warm and good where she had touched me. I’m just getting used to not feeling her touches she needs to stop that.

“I said stay down,” she yelled at me shoving me back down from trying to push myself up. I fell to my back looking up at the spinning sky and a bunch of twirling heads. 

“You don’t get to boss me around anymore!” I yelled back trying to fight the nausea. Not that Chris every bossed me around but I was upset and not able to find any bearings. 

“Shut up Ash,” Emily whispered to me her holding me down with a hand on my chest. “Just calm down and shut up.”

“Yeah but she- “I started and closed my eyes hating to see everything move so fast.

“She’s scared right now and crying,” Emily whispered next to my ear. “Just take it easy okay?”

“She’s crying?” I asked keeping my eyes closed.

“Yeah, she took off like Bolt when you went down. Your girl is fast but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her run that fast.”

“She’s not my girl,” I said as I rolled on my side and threw up. God, can anything ever go right?! “Fuck,” I mumbled rolling myself away from the vomit and curling myself into a ball. Right now, all I want to is cry myself to sleep like I’ve been doing for the past week.

“Ashlynn, Ashlynn you can’t go to sleep,” Chris said her hand on my shoulder again. “Ashlynn open your eyes.” I tucked my head deeper into my chest just feeling exhaustion pulling me under. 

“Baby come on,” she pleaded. “You got to stay awake and look at me okay? Look at me baby.” Her voice was so soft and warm. I missed that Chris so much. That was the Chris I wanted not the one that wouldn’t meet my eyes or slam the door in my face. “Come on baby,” she breathed pushing my hair away from my forehead. 

“Chris,” I whined rolling onto my back and looking up at her. “My head really hurts.”

“I know baby,” she breathed her eyes green eyes bright with tears. Finally, everything stopped spinning. “They’re going take you to the hospital okay? You have a concussion.”

“Can you come with me?” I asked in a small voice. “Please?”

“Of course,” she said nodding and leaned over pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be with you, I promise.”

“I missed you so much Chris.” She let out a laugh over her sobs and nodded her head.

“I know baby,” she said reaching for my hand and squeezing it. “I missed you too.”

Now that everything had passed, I wasn’t sure what it meant with Chris. I was so afraid she was just there because she knew what to say to make me do what they needed me to. Stubbornness is something that is a strength and weakness with me. 

I stood by the desk filling out the papers my whole body shaking. She was in the corner of my eyes talking on the phone with my mom. She wanted to come over and take care of me but Chris told her she had it under control. I wanted to know what that meant. Was she going to drop me off and hand me over to Emily?

“Your mom wants you to call her in the morning,” Chris said coming to me sliding her phone into her back pocket. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” I said nodding. I hate hospitals but I’m sure that’s the way with everyone. No one ever wants to be here. Not too many things happen here and the smile makes my stomach turn. 

“Come on,” she said taking the lead. “My car’s out front.”

I nodded following her out. One foot in front of the other. You can do this Ash. You’re a big girl and so what if the woman you’re in love with doesn’t want you anymore? I mean you got over when your favorite cartoon got canceled when you were six. You’re strong than this.

I slid into the passenger’s side and closed my eyes as she drove us back to my place. I’m still so tired and my head still aches. The doctor gave me some aspirins and told me I had to stay up for a bit longer but I was okay. However, the gentle hum and click of turn signals and Christine’s scent calmed and relaxed me.

“Hey,” she said shaking my arm. “You can’t go to sleep yet. Come on we’re here.” I opened my eyes and pulled my head from the window. Where were we.

“This isn’t my place,” I said still a little confused.

“We’re at my place,” she said and came around and opened my door. She slid an arm around my waist and pulled me close to her. “I love Emily but she’s too loud.”

“Right,” I said my eyes welling up. 

She can’t do this to me. She can’t get my hopes us. She can’t take me to her place and take care of me. She can’t call me baby and hold me close to her. She can’t break my heart again. 

I kept my tears unleashed until she pulled her comforter back and helped me slid in her bed. As the smell wrapped around me the tears started rolling down. It hurt to cry but I had no control. It was her smell, her place, her bed.

“Oh no baby,” she breathed rushing to sit beside me. “What’s wrong?”

“You have to stop. Please just stop it.”

“Stop what?” she asked reaching out for me gingerly. As much as I know I shouldn’t I preened into her touch.

“Stop pretending. I’m still working on getting over you. It’s so hard Chris. You’re so hard to forget.”

“Get over me?” she breathed shaking her head. “No baby, you don’t have to get over me. I’m still here. I’m still yours.”

“You are?” I asked over the lump in my throat.

“Yes,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry I turned away from you but I was just upset. I don’t ever want to not be the other part of this relationship Ashlynn. You make me so happy although today I was terrified out of my mind when you went down.”

“That’s how I felt when I saw the replay at the game.” She nodded and reached out bringing my hand to her mouth and kissed my knuckles.

“I know but I was so worried about what would happen. I need you on this team with me and at this school. My mind was so scared you were going to be expelled.”

“Pft,” I snickered. “For decking that piece of shit? I’m surprised I didn’t get some kind of medal.” She laughed through a sob and leaned over still sitting and burrowed her face against my neck. I tangled a hand in her hair and she lifted her head.

“I missed you so much Chris. So so much.”

“Me too,” she said wiping the tears from her cheeks.

I sucked in a deep breath when she went in for a kiss. She kissed me gently holding my face to keep me right where she wanted me. I can assure you I wasn’t about to go anywhere. Her mouth was exactly what I needed. What we both needed to help heal us. 

“Was that okay?” she whispered holding her lips from barely brushing mine. I answered her by reaching over and yanking her on top of me and lunged up kissing her some more. She laughed against my mouth my heart feeling so much better. There was no better medicine than her, just Chris. 

“So how come no l words yet? Me and Monica said it the other day. You and Chris seem like light years ahead of us.” I took a fry from her plate and frowned at her glare. That was a good question. I know I felt it. I felt it like all the time. I just don’t want to be the person that says it and get a grimace in return and a thank you. 

Does Chris feel that way about me? I mean I know she cares about me. She is so affectionate and is always doing things for me like I do them for her. I just don’t know if she’s on that page with me about love. I know that I love her and am so in love with her.

“Don’t know,” I said with a shrug. I wanted to play this off. “I’m just going at her pace you know.”

“Ash,” she said with a snort. “I think that woman’s been in love with you since league camp.”

“What?” I asked frowning at her. “Chris wasn’t at camp.”

“Oh my god are you serious? Of course, she was Logi!” she laughed. “She was throwing you heart eyes even then.”

“No,” I said shaking my head. I would have remembered meeting Chris before. “The first time I meet her was at the field here.”

“Hold on a minute,” she said reaching for her phone and scrolling aggressively through her pics. I know a lot of them are with Vroom lately. “Aha! Here you go! Heart eyes motherfucker!”

She held up her phone showing me a pic of a job standing together smiling for the picture. I took it from her to see closer up and found me and Emily right away. Nowhere did I see my dark-haired girlfriend. Shaking my head at her I held my hand out to give it back.

“She’s not there.”

“Look again,” she said with a chuckle pushing it back towards me. Rolling my eyes, I pulled it back and went slowly from person to person. 

“Come on Ems,” I said huffing at her. “I know what my girlfriend loo- “Oh. 

“Found her,” she chuckled and stood up to lean over my shoulder. “She was a kinda blonde back then. I mean she’s look alright but I so dig the dark hair more now.”

I stared down at the woman grinning towards the camera and tried to think back to the camp and her. She looked so different with the lighter hair and I don’t know if I would technically call her a blonde. Her hair was more brunette with blonde throughout it. It was only a few years ago but she looked so much younger.

“Here,” Emily said over my shoulder and reached out swiping to the next picture. “There’s here adoring you.” She laughed at it but I felt my chest ache. 

There was Chris in the background of the picture. She was smiling over at me while I was juggling the ball around. I swiped through a few more with Emily chuckling in the background. 

“Why didn’t she anything?” I whispered to myself staring down at Emily’s phone. “I’m super glad you took all of these. Can you send them to me?” I asked as I got to my feet.

“I thought I was going to keep them until your wedding and then put them in an album,” she joked. “Yeah, I’ll send them to you.”

“I’m gonna go see her now.” I needed to see her and see that smile with her nose scrunched.

“Hey,” I greeted holding out a cup of coffee as she looked up from the papers in front of her. Her student was getting his things together to leave. 

“Hey you,” she grinned at me happily taking the cup and bringing it to her lips. She took a long sip and sighed as the caffeine hit her. “You are so perfect,” she said pulling me to the empty seat next to her. 

“Bye Jeremiah,” I said as he nodded and head off. 

Chris says he’s been struggling and he is having trouble getting it even with the tutoring she’s providing. I’m not sure if there’s really any help for him if she can’t help him. Chris is brilliant and her GPA speaks for itself. 

“Not getting any better?”

“Not really,” she sighed. “I almost think he’s here just because his parents are pushing it.”

“Well we can’t all be brainiacs,” I teased and leaned in for a kiss now that her student was gone. 

“I am not,” she said against my mouth. 

“Mmm and a wonderful soccer captain.”

“I have an amazing co-captain.”

“And the best girlfriend ever,” I teased taking a small nibble on her bottom lip. She sighed softly at the move. 

“That’s my favorite out of them all,” she said softly cupping my cheek. “What brings you out here? I wasn’t expecting you until later tonight.” 

“Oh well Emily brought something up and I was totally blindsided.”

“What happened?” she asked using one hand to move herself into a pile and the other to sip on her coffee.

“She showed me some pictures.”

“Of what?” She was putting her things in her bag so I took the opportunity to grab my phone and pull up the pictures Em had sent. 

“Hmm here,” I said holding it out for her to see. She turned back around and looked at the screen her face quickly turning pink. “Looks familiar?” I teased.

“That’s was at camp,” she choked out her eyes staying at the screen and away from me. 

“How come you never brought it up?”

“You didn’t say anything either.”

“Well baby you look a bit different,” I said and put the phone down to nuzzle in her neck. “Still so beautiful though.”

“I had such a huge crush on you,” she whispered soaking up the affection I was giving her. “You were so cute and such a great soccer player. I was taken right away.” My heart swelled at her words my breath gone from my lungs.

“So, I didn’t have to wait a whole year to reveal my feelings and you over hear them all dramatically?”

“it was so cute,” she promised kissing my temple. “I couldn’t say anything that second because I was speechless. You liking me back was unreal to me.”

“I don’t just like you baby,” I whispered and kissed the side of her neck. She pulled away from me quickly and jumped to her feet. 

“Let’s get out of here.” 

I was sitting at the table with my elbows propped up and me pouting in my drink. The bar was loud and I was having fun I was just missing Christen. My beautiful, smart, sexy Christine who was at her parents’ house for their thirtieth anniversary. 

“Come on buds drink up!” Emily cheered me on slamming another drink in front of me. “It’s your motherfucking birthday!” 

I grinned at her and finished what was left of the one I had and then took a large gulp of the new one. The team was here and they were busy supplying me with alcohol. We were all having a blast.

“Can you believe on this day twenty-one years ago your parents had sex!” Emily snorted grabbing me shoulders and shaking me as she laughed hysterically. 

“Yuck Ems!” I cried trying to drink away that bit of information. 

“Haha you having a good time Logi?”

“Yeah,” I said looking down at my drink. “I just wish Chris was here.”

“Oh, here we go on the Christen train again,” she chuckled but dropped into the chair next to me. “Tell me all about her again Logi.”

“I just really like her you know. She’s amazing and so beautiful my head hurts thinking of why she’s even with me.”

“Oh, come on Ash. You’re pretty too.”

“Not like she is,” I said shaking my head. “She is like a twelve out of a ten.” She belly laughed at that and jabbed me in the shoulder. 

“Yeah you got pretty lucky there I’m not going to lie. I mean Monica is hot and all but Chris is like fucking sports illustrated dude.”

“I know right!” I said feeling smug. “I just don’t- “

A loud cheer broke through my thoughts and I frowned at Emily. She turned her head to see what was going on and then turned to me with a goofy grin. Not sure what was going on I went to take another drink and it was nearly knocked out of my hand but a jostling blonde.

“Hey Logi! Look who showed up!” I turned my head to where my friends were and nearly choked on my saliva. “It’s the Press party!” Emily hollered standing up and rushed over to greet her as she was approaching us with a smile. 

“My god,” I breathed as she got to the table. “You are so beautiful.” Her cheeks turned pink at my declaration and came in kissing me on the cheek.

“Happy birthday baby,” she whispered and took the seat Emily had left empty. 

“Wow,” I said so happy she was here. I turned my head looking over at my blond best friend. “Ems! Did you Chris was going to be here?”

“Of course, Logi,” she laughed patting my on the shoulder. “She wouldn’t miss this for the world. Your girl is crazy about you!”

I felt so warm and light. It had to a mix of the alcohol and the dark-haired woman sitting next to me her hand squeezing my knee my special smile on her face. This is by far my best birthday yet!

“Chris,” Em snorted and was handing a drink from her girlfriend and placed it in front of her. “You have been the topic of conversation all night.”

“Well I’m sorry I missed it. I hope nothing too embarrassed,” she said laughing and took a drink from the newly made drink. 

“From this one,” Vroom snorted and rolled her eyes. “She has gone on and on about how pretty you are.” I felt my cheeks turn red as Chris grinned at me.

“You’re so beautiful,” she said to me jostling me with her shoulder.

“You- “I said and had to clear my throat. “I mean there’s really no words to say everything. You steal my breath away and my heart either forgets how to beat or it feels like it’s going to erupt from my chest.”

“Yeah Logi!” Emily cheered and shook my shoulders. “You going to marry her huh?”

“Well I mean yeah,” I said staring down at the table feeling a bit embarrassed but the alcohol letting my tongue run. “Could you imagine her in a wedding dress looking insanely beautiful? It makes my heart stutter.”

“Can’t let anyone else get that Logi.”

“God no!” I said lifting my head and looked up at a grinning Emily. “I like her a lot. Like a lot lot.”

“Oh, we all know about that,” she laughed. 

“And she’s so smart. I mean she goes to Stanford and her GPA is like over 4.0 because of all her advanced classes.” I frowned at that and tilted my head. “Why do you think she’s with me Ems? I mean I’m not nearly as smart or pretty and she’s so good at soccer. I know she’s going to play for the national team. They’re going to call her and she’s going to leave me. Then I’ll be all alone like I was when I thought we had broken up. That was hard and I don’t think I can survive that.”

“Hey! Hey!” she said reaching over and moving the drink from in front of me. “She’s not going anywhere Ashlynn and you’re just as pretty and smart and funny.”

“I didn’t say funny,” I said blinking up to her with a frown.

“I know,” she said stepping back and took her girlfriend’s hand. “You’re just not as good in soccer as she is,” she laughed and waved before she pulled them away from the table.

“Am I funny?” I asked myself looking back at where my drink was. “Do I tell jokes?”

“You always make me laugh,” a voice said warmly before a hand covered and laced with my own. “And why so sad baby? It’s your birthday. You should be on top of the world right now.”

“I’m happy you’re here,” I said bringing her hand up to my mouth and kissing the back. “How do you always look so damn beautiful? You literally make my chest ache looking at you.”

“Well I have to show off for my baby,” she said softly. “It’s her special day.”

“Do I get a special present?” I asked gently pulling her into me. 

“Mhmm,” she breathed easily moving into my arms and playing with the buttons on the front of my shirt. “It’s at my place.”

“Is it wrapped?” I asked wrapping my hands over her hips and moving her so there was no air between us.

“Yes,” she chuckled sprawling her hands on my chest one over my heart. She says it one of her favorite things to listen to when she needs to rest and relax. 

“You really really want to know what I want for my birthday?”

“Of course.” With the alcohol coursing through my veins I took advantage of my liquid courage and placed my lips at her ear.

“Birthday sex,” I breathed out and got a whimper in return. 

It’s not something we have done. We’ve done other things but we’ve yet to go all the way yet. She knows I’m fine with waiting until she’s ready and there is no pushing or expectations. I’ve told her I could wait forever for her as long as she’ll still kiss me goodnight. 

“Ashlynn,” she croaked as I nibbled gently on her ear.

“I just want to make you feel good Chris,” I breathed against the warm pink shell. “I want you to feel so good.”

“Oh god Ashlynn,” she stuttered out her hands almost painfully gripping my biceps. 

“I want you underneath me with your hands tugging my hair while I’m tasting you. I really really want to taste you Christen.”

“Fuck,” she croaked and pulled her head back to look at me. Her eyes were hooded and pupils were blown. I could feel her trembling against me.

“Please,” I breathed out wanting exactly what I had said to her. My body was aching and throbbing at the thought of a naked spent Christine under me. 

“Baby,” she said and started to shake her head. A whimper instantly left my lips at what I know is her going to be refusal. God, Chris is going to refuse me. 

“I just really, really like you. you know,” I said starting into her dark blown green eyes. “No,” I shook my head. “That’s not right. I’m like desperately in love with you.”

“God,” she whispered her nails digging into my skin. 

“I love you so fucking much Christen Press. I want to take you to bed and feel your skin against mine. I want to touch, and kiss, and taste you until you’re so blissed out you can’t move. Then I’ll wrap you in my arms and let you sleep for a few hours before we do it all over again.”

“Baby,” she said finally getting her words together. “I don’t want our first time to be with all this alcohol in your system. I want you to be able to remember it.” I shook my head at her my eyes pleading with her. 

“No Chris I’m fine, please,” I pleaded. “Please,” I said pressing my forehead down on hers. 

She was trembling against me like a leaf and her breaths were short against my face. I know she wants this as bad as me. However, I know her body language so well and I know she’s about to turn me down. Chris is going to tell me no.

“It’s not the right time Ashlynn,” she said softly her grip tight on me. 

I desperately wanted to rip away. I felt like this was a huge slap in the face. Not only did I tell the woman I love her but I also told her I wanted to express it. She was turning me down and I felt like it was a slap in my face. Why didn’t she want me? Was I not good enough for her? She didn’t even say she loved me back. 

“Oh,” I said as gently as I could move back away from her and out of her hold. 

“Want to come over and get your present?” she asked a soft smile on her face her hands automatically reaching out for me eating up the distance I had created. 

“Maybe tomorrow,” I said forcing out a yawn and stopping my hand for reaching out and running through my hair giving away on of my biggest tells. “I think it’s time for me to go home.”

“I’ll drive us.”

“I’m getting an uber with Ems and Monica,” I said quickly. “It’s a birthday tradition that we do stupid stuff until the morning,” I said with a shrug.

“I’m not one to mess with tradition then. Maybe next one I can be a part of that.”

“Yeah,” I said my heart feeling incredibly heavy. “I better go before they get all caught up and forget about me.” Quickly I darted forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thanks for coming.”

“Always,” she said her Ashlynn smile beaming for me. “Anything for you Ash.”

If only…

“And here you are,” Emily announced dropping to the ground next to me her dropping the soccer ball into my lap. “I don’t think I remember a time you’ve missed a practice.”

“That time in high school when my appendix almost erupted,” I said turning the ball in my hands. She rolled her eyes at me. 

“That was unavoidable,” she huffed. “So, what’s going on? Chris is going out of her mind. She said you haven’t answered your phone and you haven’t returned her texts.”

“I told her I loved her,” I said with a shrug. Instantly a smile bloomed on Emily’s face but then transformed into a frown.

“No,” she breathed.

“She didn’t say it back. I waited too Ems; I really did. I even said it to her a few more times. The first time was at my party and I didn’t want her to feel like I was saying it because I was drunk. She just looks at me and it’s almost like a wince. Like she doesn’t want to hear it. Me telling her I love her is causing her to fucking wince.”

“Oh shit,” she whispered weakly shaking her head. “I’m so sorry Ashlynn.”

“When you said it to Monica what did she do?”

“Well she kinda tackled me and like made out with me for a little bit before she told me it back.” The small smile on her face was like a punch to the chest but I elbowed her in the side happy she was so happy. 

“You got a good one Ems.”

“Yep! That’s my future wife right there,” she boasted a grin blooming on her face. “Don’t tell her that though,” she laughed. “It’ll go straight to her head.”

“Oh yeah,” I laughed along with her. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“I’m really sorry Ash. I don’t know why Chris would do that. She seems pretty sprung on you. I mean at practice you could see she was upset because you’ve been MIA.” I shrugged and pushed myself up to my feet.

“Let’s go practice,” I said holding the ball with one hand and holding the other out to help her up. “I can’t you catch up to me.” A whoosh of air escaped her mouth as well as an eye roll before she let me help pull her to her feet. 

“In your dreams.”

“What did I do?”

The voice soft and tired caused my spine to straighten and my body to tense. I could feel the heaviness of it and just wanted to stay where I was. If I could just stay here in the library hidden away studying than the world can go without me. 

“Christen,” I said once I looked up at her. 

At the sound of her full name she flinched and clenched her jaw. Her arms had been at her side but she then brought them up crossing them over her chest as if to protect herself. I wanted to do that too, to protect myself. 

Instead I just stared up at her not sure what to say. It has been a week now. A week of no communication and me having skipped one soccer practice. I know she asked Emily after me and I made sure I wasn’t in the apartment because she would have been there looking for me. 

“So, what did I do Ashlynn? Why are you ignoring me and avoiding me?”

“I’m studying,” I said looking down at the pile of notes I had been going through. It was the truth. I mean there was a lot of other things going on as well but there was that too. 

“You miss soccer practice and not answer my calls and texts because you’re studying?”

“I’ve been busy,” I said my tone short, annoyed with her questioning me. If only I turned the tables and asked her why me telling her how I feel physically hurts her. 

She flinched at my tone and I could see the tick in her jaw. She was clenching hard trying to keep herself together. Chris is always so calm and collected. Right now, she looks angry. The sight of it made me almost glad. Maybe that meant I could yell and get all of my frustration out. 

“Ever since your birthday you’ve been keeping me at a distance. Are you mad that I went to my parent’s anniversary?” She unfolded her arms to run clumsy shaking fingers through her hair. It was down currently and it was one of my favorite looks. Her hair was curly and all over the place. 

“No,” I said with a frown just really wanting to go back to my notes.

“I came back as soon as I could. I took a plane and- “

“I said no,” I hissed cutting her off.

“Then why are you so upset?!” she asked raising her voice when my words had startled her. 

“I am not doing this!” I yelled slamming my hands down on the table. “Don’t you get me being away from you. I want space dammit!”

“Great fucking way to treat your girlfriend Ashlynn,” she hissed her eyes narrowed on me as I shoved all my papers hazardily in my bag. 

“Yeah like you’re a fucking saint,” I threw right back at her. “Think really hard about how you’ve treated me Christen,” I hissed throwing my backpack over my shoulder and so super pissed shoulder checked her roughly as I passed her. I could hear her grunt of pain at the act and then her gasp of what I had done. Yeah, I was an asshole. 

A pounding on the front door woke me up. Emily was gone at Monica’s so I was all alone. I should be a bit more cautious but I was so exhausted. Sleeping through the night was a struggle and I kept waking up after a few hours covered in sweat and tears. 

So, I was mumbling curses under my breath as I dragged myself to the front door and yanked it open. My stupid ass didn’t even look through the peep hole as I ripped it open to reveal a sobbing brunette. I was half way out to reaching out for her but my memories caught up to me. 

“Here,” she said shoving a wrapped package into my chest. I stumbled back a little but took it watching as she came in and dropped heavy onto the couch. I closed the door and leaned back against it. She looked like she was hanging on by a thread. 

“Is this-?” I asked trailing off.

“Your birthday present,” she said pulling her knees up to her chest and dropped her chin on them hugging herself making herself small. 

“I’m not sure,” I said not really wanting to open it. I mean could you really say we were dating anymore. It was like last time only this time I was the one avoiding. 

“Open it Ashlynn,” she said her breath hitching the sound it makes after a long deep cry. 

My chest tightened and I sat on the floor across from her slowly peeling off the wrapping paper. The breath left my chest as I recognized the shoe box a deep frown on my face. I should really stop but my trembling hands fumbled with the lid. 

“You got them,” I breathed out looking at the new high-end cleats. I had been talking about them nonstop for the longest time after they got released. Emily had rolled her eyes at me and Chris had just chuckled and thought my excitement was cute.

“Chris,” I breathed out lifting them from the box. “They’re so expensive.” I ran my fingers over them lost in actually having in reach. They were even better in person and my feet nearly ached to slip them on. 

“You talked about them nearly every second of the day,” she said trying to sound like she was teasing me. It was so heavy and my heart ached. My head dropped and I held the cleats to my chest afraid they would take away from me just like Chris had been. 

“I-I told you how I felt and you never said it back,” I croaked out staring down at my bare feet. The words felt so heavy coming out of my chest and into the air. 

“Oh,” she breathed the word so loud in the quiet room. 

“Yeah,” I said chewing on my bottom lip. “Every time I said it said after my birthday you flinched. It hurt to see you react like that to my feelings.” 

“Can we talk about that?” she asked softly. I nodded knowing that we shouldn’t have put it off this long. With my affirmative she got off the couch and sat on the floor right across from me. Her feet touched mine as she reached out and put her hands on my knees. 

“You saying those words,” she began and shook her head. “You loving me, being in love with me is the- “she stopped as a sob tore out of her throat. I immediately dropped the shoes and reached out touching her. She instantly leaned into my touch tears glistening in her eyes. 

“It didn’t seem like it was real,” she breathed out finishing her thought. “You said it enough times for me to know I didn’t mishear but it I just couldn’t fathom it. Ashlynn,” she croaked out her hands trembling as she reached out touching my face. My eyes shut at her gentle touch but I opened them to hold her gaze. 

“I’m so so sorry you thought I was in pain. I just didn’t think I deserved it and it was real.”

“It is,” I promised her. She nodded her fingers soft on my cheeks.

“I love you Ashlynn. I love you so much.” 

“Oh Chris,” I breathed out and closed the short distance and kissed her. She whimpered against my mouth but kissed me back eagerly. I needed her close to me and pushed her onto her back and laid over kissing her mouth and all over her face. When I moved down her throat, she arched into me her legs wrapped around my waist and her fingertips insistent in my shoulders. 

“Baby,” I croaked into her throat as she started to rock up into me. “Let’s get you into bed.”

“I don’t want to stop this Ash,” she breathed her hands moving all over my back. “I want to continue this in your bed.”

“Chris,” I said dragging my lips along her jaw. “My god do I want you too baby. I know we’re both too exhausted to even enjoy it right now.” I pulled my head back and kissed her softly on the forehead. “If my sleep is shit than I know you haven’t gotten any.”

I could sleep through a zombie apocalypse but Christen gets woken up if Emily sneezes in the other room. She started to open her mouth to argue but I shook my head at her not going to let her win this one. Pulling back she gasped about to argue but I reached down lifting her into my arms. 

“Let’s go to sleep baby,” I said carrying her into my room. She slid her arms around my neck and pressed her forehead against my temple. “Here you go,” I said setting her down on her favorite side of the bed and reached down pulling her shoes off. “Need anything?”

“You,” she whispered her arms already reaching out for me. I threw myself over and made the bed bounce as I landed and immediately pulled her into my arms. 

“Get some sleep okay?” She nodded and curled herself into me her face buried in my neck. 

“I love you,” she breathed against my neck causing me to shiver at her warm breath and her words. 

“I love you too,” I whispered and after closing my eyes was almost immediately pulled under into sleep. 

Emily was grinning ear to ear at me as she came into the kitchen. I was sitting at the table with Chris on my lap us taking turns taking bites of the pancakes we had both made together. We just couldn’t stop touching each other suddenly touch starved. It had been a week of no contact and I had missed the feel and smell of her skin. Her touch was always so warm I always crave it. 

“Logi! Chris!” she cried and squeezed us tightly making an adorable squeak to escape Chris. “I was so worried!”

“Eh, we just needed to talk,” I said with a shrug but she knew it was so much more. We’ve been best friends since elementary school. A lot of our communication is done without words. 

“There’s more pancakes on the counter,” Chris said kissing me on the cheek. 

“Oh Em!” I cried as she went to get her some food. “You won’t believe what Chris got me for my birthday!” 

“Are my eyes going to bleed?” she asked chuckling reaching for a plate. 

“No,” I rolled my eyes at her. “I got new cleats.” She nodded as if to appease me but stopped with a pancake halfway to the plate.

“Chris you didn’t?” she asked turning her head to the raven-haired woman currently feeding me a bite. 

“Mmm,” she said kissing the syrup off my lips. “She was obsessing over them,” she said playfully rolling her eyes. 

“Wow fuck!” Emily snorted shaking her head. “You two will be married before college is over.” I felt my cheeks burn and Chris buried her face into my neck. Maybe that was a little soon but I didn’t see anything wrong about it. 

They say the bigger you are the harder you fall. I was slide tackled and hit the ground hard. At six feet one it’s a long way to fall and I’m a bit muscular in my arms and shoulders. I think I may have even bounced when I hit the turf. Almost immediately I felt a hand on my shoulder even though I had curled myself up protectively from any flying cleats. 

“You okay Logi?”

“Shit,” I breathed the air definitely knocked out of me. “God damn that hurts.”

“Yeah dirty tackle.”

“Did she get a card?” I asked not even sure who it was. 

“No and no foul either,” she said getting to her feet and waiving for a medic. “Chris has the ball in the box though.” 

“Good,” I wheezed my sides hurting. 

“Uh oh,” Emily breathed as she took a couple steps back and then chuckled. “Shit your girlfriend is a Rockstar.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that rolling onto my back keeping my eyes shut. 

“I know,” I laughed holding onto my side. “Did she score?” I asked when I heard the crowd cheer and jeer.

“No, she pushed the girl that tackled you.”

“What?” 

Chris never gets like that in a game. She is extremely levelheaded in a game and her conduct is sound. It’s one of the reasons she is captain. Hearing that she pushed someone is unheard of.

“My Chris?” I asked opening my eyes as I felt hands over mine. I looked up at the medic going through the check on my ribs. 

“We only have one on the team and I said your girlfriend Ashlynn. Listen up!” Emily chuckled again and then shook her head a wide grin on her face. “She got a yellow!”

“No fucking way!” I hissed a smile tugging on my lips. I can’t remember a time that she had gotten one before now. 

“Oh yeah and she’s got a smirk. That woman is so sprung on you!”

“She’s my one and done Emily.” Emily rolled her eyes and shook her head at me.

“I could have told you that the first-time you guys eye fucked each other on the field.”

“Ew,” I moaned as I was helped up and slowly lead off the field. The crowd cheered and I waved as I walked off with the medic. 

After a better inspection I waited on the sidelines to be approved by the ref to be put back in. While waiting I looked at Chris and caught her eye almost immediately. She smiled at me and threw me one of her adorable winks. I grinned at her a sucker for her and was patted on the back to get my attention when I was approved back in. 

I so wanted a goal this game and since it was still scoreless, I moved into a more attacking position. Chris moved back to adjust to my position but still made herself open when she had a chance. We both know what we need to win but I want to be the one who puts in the back of the net.

“You got this Superstar?” she asked me lightly rubbing my arm as we stood in the box waiting for a corner kick. I grinned at her with a nod. Set pieces were our thing. This was going in!

Monica lined up the ball and sent a bending ball into the box. Chris ran to get it but it was headed back towards the circle. I was the nearest so I took off and recovered it looking up to see what I had to work on. Quickly I noted the keeper was off her line and I took advantage and chipped the ball up and out. I paused as I watched it sail away and bounce on the ground before it went over the keeper and sunk into the back of the net. 

The screams were immediate and I ran with my arms out towards my teammates. I had people jumping at me and touching the top of my head. After a few of them stepped away I kept going to my girlfriend and grinned as she leaped into my arms. I wrapped her up securely my arms tight around her waist as she laughed freely.

“You did it baby!”

“We did it!” I cheered burying my face into her neck. 

I had to out her back down but not before I held her arm pulling her close and whispered in her ear. She smiled my special smile back and mouthed the words back to me. Smiling like an idiot I jogged back to my usual spot in the midfield getting a chuckle from Emily. 

“Heart eyes!” she hollered followed by a few chuckles. I threw her a smile not caring in the least. I’ve never been happier in my whole life and everything was going so right. 

“Hey you!” Chris greeted coming up from behind me jumping on to my back. I laughed and wrapped my fingers around her ankles and walked us back towards the locker room. “Player of the game,” she teased. 

“Just had to my girlfriend some competition. I can’t make it look like she does it all.” She giggled in my ear before kissing it. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said so ecstatic that we say that so freely now.

“Babe put me down real quick.” I bent down to let her down to have her grab my hand and yank me into a dark corner. Her mouth quickly crashed on mine almost making my knees give way. I grabbed at her hips as she pushed me back against the wall kiss me hard.

My breathing was short and heavy as she was so aggressive. Chris has never kissed me so desperately. I was leaning heavy against the wall as all her weight was pressing me back. 

“Chris,” I whimpered as she bit on my bottom lip and tugged on it. 

Then my eyes rolled into the back of my head as her hand slipped down into my soccer shorts. We haven’t done that but her fingers weren’t hesitating as she slipped right into my wetness and found my clit. My head thumped back against the wall as she stroked it working me quickly into a frenzy. Her mouth was making a mess of my neck as she was quickly bringing me to release. 

“Shit,” I hissed feeling it build up from my toes and spreading out over my entire body. “Chris,” I whimpered as my orgasm washed over me my knees mush and my breathing short and labored. “Fuck,” I mumbled dropping my head out to her shoulder burying it into her neck as I struggled to catch my breath. 

Her arms wrapped around me and she held me tightly as she kissed the side of my head softly. This was the first time we had done this and my entire body was just a mushy trembling mess. I pressed a few soft kisses there before I lifted my head to meet her eyes.

“Hey,” she breathed her green eyes bright even in the dark hallway.

“Hey,” I whispered back and put both hands on her cheeks. I bent my head down and kissed her long and gentle letting her know I was more than okay with what just happened. 

“Okay?” she breathed against my mouth. 

“Mhmm,” I mumbled against her mouth not able to stop kiss her just yet. “So okay. I don’t think you know how sexy you are and hot that was.”

“I just wanted to make sure. I turned you down for birthday sex and now I kinda did this without talking about it.”

“No baby no,” I breathed out peppering her forehead with kisses. “That was like a fantasy, I promise. I just want to take you home and return the favor.”

“How?” she asked her voice low and soft.

“My god,” I croaked trembling. “Baby I want to taste you so bad. I want to lick you.”

“Ash,” she breathed out my name and it made my heart stutter. 

I don’t think I can wait though. Without over thinking it I turned her so she was pressed against the wall and dropped to my knees. I could hear the breath whoosh from her as I lifted her shirt and kissed her stomach her abs tightening at the touch. 

I then slid her shorts down and lifted one leg to get them out of the way. She stood her letting me move her around before she placed a hand in my hair. A gentle tug went right to my throbbing center at the motion. I reached out touching a calf and placed it over my shoulder and didn’t hesitant to taste her. 

It really only took a few licks before we were both moaning, me at the taste and her at the pleasure. She was whimpering her hand tight in my hair as my tongue licked her from top to bottom. A few circles of my tongue solely on her clit and sucking it into my mouth and she was orgasming. Her hands were tugging me to keep me close and pulling me away. The moan was almost dangerously loud but I kept my tongue gentle so she could ride it out.

“Fuck,” she cursed as I kept her up with one arm and the other pulled up her shorts. 

“You okay baby?” I asked standing and letting her full weight fall into me. 

“I don’t think I can walk.” I chuckled and maneuvered and lifted her onto my back again. 

“I’ll take care of you,” I promised as I led her to the locker room. 

We were back in her bed both exhausted but still clinging to each other and wakefulness. Chris was laying on my chest us both naked her hand tucked over my ribs and one under her. I couldn’t stop touching her with one hand running through her hair and the other over the bumps of her spine. After a quick change in the locker room we came to her place for a steamy shower and then hours getting to know each other intimately in her bed. 

“Ash,” she whispered her lips brushing against my skin her ear over my heart.

“Hmm,” I said fighting a yawn down. I don’t want to go to sleep. I’m terrified I’ll wake up and this will just be a dream. An amazing dream but a dream and I’ll be so disappointed. 

“I love you so much,” she breathed out making her voice tremble. “I don’t think you know how much.”

“Oh baby,” I said reaching and tilting her head up so I could see the tears in her eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m so scared I’m going to do something and lose you. I don’t know what I would do if that happened.”

“You’ll never have to find out,” I promised shaking my head. “I’m not going anywhere and we already learned if something happens, we just need to talk it out. We want the same things Chris. I want to be with you always. I can’t ever love anyone else than you. You’re my everything. I love you even more than soccer.”

“More than soccer?” she asked letting her tears fall and a small smile teasing her lips. “That’s a lot.”

“Well yeah,” I said quickly wiping the tears from her face. I hate to see them so much. “I’ve been playing since diapers. I love the game most now when I play with you. When I get to see that smile of absolute happiness and joy you have when you sink the ball in the back of the net. That makes me happy but just being with you makes me happy too. I could just sit in a room with you and not even talk to you and be content. I know that I just have to look over and you’ll sense me and send me a smile you do only for me.”

“Your special Ashlynn smile?”

“Yes,” I breathed glad her tears were all gone. “The one with the scrunched-up nose and eyes and those bright whites beaming at me. It’s a look of pure joy and I’m so happy I’ve only seen it directed at me.”

“You’re the only one that ever makes me feel that happy. I love you so much Ashlynn.”

“I love you so much too Christen, so much.” 

“Better?” I asked pulling Chris’ feet up onto my lap and rubbing her instep. The loud moan answered my question. I smiled as she sank deeper into the cushions beneath her shutting her eyes letting her body relax. She had a rough game having to take on a lot. I was benched because of a few bruised ribs at the last game. 

“So good,” she moaned throwing a hand over her eyes hiding from the light. 

“You played awesome today,” I said softly so proud of her. She played with some of those that didn’t get a lot of minutes and hadn’t built such an on-field relationship with. 

“One to nothing.”

“So proud of you.”

“Mm so good,” she moaned as I hit a sore spot. The frown between her eyebrows was adorable. “Missed you there with me. Not as good without you there.”

“I made sure Mon and Ems were taking care of you.”

“Not the same though. I love seeing you there with the ball at your feet and my special smile.”

“Next game I’ll be back. I’ll be there hogging the ball not letting you get all the goals. I’m still a midfielder.” I scoffed and moved her feet away so I could lie between her legs keeping my weight on my forearms. “Before I know it Emily is going to surpass me.” 

She rolled her eyes at me but slide her arms around my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. I sighed into the warmth and softness of her kiss. She tasted like nothing I could ever describe and felt more like home that I could ever describe. 

“Family dinner is tomorrow,” she said when my mouth went to her neck. “It will be the first with us together.”

“I get to show you off,” I breathed against her neck nibbling at her jawline. 

“Yes,” she breathed holding me to one of her favorite spots. “My girlfriend.”

“Then we can come back here with a pizza, cuddle, and watch a movie.” 

I was gentle against her neck wanting to not mark her dark skin. Chris is a fan of seeing the marks on her skin and I am most definitely as well. With the dinner tomorrow and all the pictures, I don’t want it to be all over.

“And then some,” she said keeping me at her neck. “Please Ash,” she whined lifting her hips into me. It was her sign of wanting me to leave a mark.

“Baby there’s going to be pictures,” I said nibbling at her throat. 

“You’re my girlfriend,” she breathed as I licked her pulse point. “Not for anyone else.”

Her words had a deep effect on me and I sank my teeth into her delicate skin. She whimpered and shivered at the pain. I quickly used my tongue to sooth the skin. She then sighed as I started to suck about to leave a mark. It made her happy and I’ll do anything to keep it that way. 

Emily chuckled next to me while I got a drink for Chris. She was busy with pictures right now and she always got thirsty from talking so much. I smirked at my best friend while I waited for the guy to pour the sprite for me. 

“If anyone was questioning your relationship before it’s answered now. That woman has not stopped touching you all night.” That made a smile tug at my lips. Chris had been touchy feely tonight and I had been soaking it all in. I’m so in love with affectionate Chris. With a hand on my hip or with her pinky hooked with mine I love every second of it. 

“She’s affectionate.”

“Nice move on the neck Logi,” Emily snorted. “She didn’t even try to cover them up. You two are like horny teenagers.” I shrugged and sent a forced smile to the guy that finally handed me a sprite that took ten minutes to pour. 

“That was all her. I offered to help but she likes people seeing them.”

“Yeah,” Emily said getting a drink herself. “She is pretty smitten with you.”

“I didn’t think I could ever be this happy. I mean you know with high school and Jackie.” Emily rolled her eyes and bumped me with her shoulder.

“She’s was the wrong person for you. You found the best one though Ashlynn. That woman is everything you need and deserve and I’m so happy she feels the same way about you.”

“Yeah,” I agreed watching Chris across the room laugh as she was taking pictures with others on the team. “I should tell her about high school,” I said feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach. God, I don’t like thinking about it. The thought of letting the words out of my mouth to the woman felt like acid in my stomach. 

“We’re playing her soon,” Emily said her voice thick with disdain. 

“God save the queen,” I mumbled holding my drink up and went to hydrate my beaming girlfriend.

I felt my chest squeeze painfully tight as final pictures were taken. Of course, they wanted Chris and Dermont together. He, of course, was all for it sliding his arm around her waist and pulling her close. My teeth clenched at the tense body language from her and her eyes moving anxiously around the room to find me. She looks panicked. 

I lifted a hand to let her know it was okay. This was part of the team requirements. She couldn’t help that Dermont was an ass and didn’t understand boundaries. He wasn’t too understanding when he heard that we were together. His response was to laugh as if he thought I was telling him a joke. Chris gave him a deathly cold look that stole the laugh right from his chest. 

“Logan,” a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned and forced a polite smile to my face at my coach. It was hard since someone else was holding my girlfriend.

“Coach.”

“So,” she started as I brought the glass of water to my lips. “Everyone likes them together huh?” The words made the water take a wrong path down my throat and I wheezed at the painful swallow.

“What?’ I croaked out. “No!”

“Hey,” she said holding her hands up in surrender. “I just know how these people are. Why do you think they were together in the first place? I know Press is way too good for him, but whatever can give the teams and her more exposure, you know?”

My god I felt so sick. I brought the cup up to my forehead and let the condensation on the cup wipe off onto my heated skin. Chris being with Dermont made my skin crawl. Now to even think of her doing it because of the team makes me want to empty my stomach in the nearest bin.

“Just think of her career Logan,” she said squeezing my shoulder and walked away. 

My head started to pound so hard I had to turn away from a smiling Chris and a smirking Dermont. He was holding her too close and coach’s words were screaming in my head. Did they really only date because of what others wanted. I think Dermont took advantage of the opportunity. How far did that go? We’ve never spoken about it.

“Hey,” a soft voice said as an arm slid around my waist and a hand went to my cheek. “Baby, you okay?” I lifted my head and looked over to where she had just been. Dark eyes were glaring at me his arms now empty as Chris was holding me. 

“I don’t feel so well,” I said softly slipping an arm around her waist. “I think I’m going to head home.”

“Have a seat and I’ll grab our jackets real quick.” I shook my head at her as she started to lead us to the nearest table. 

“No Chris, you stay. I’ll be okay. I can grab Emily.”

“Ashlynn,” she said firmly guiding me into a chair. “I’m taking my girlfriend home.” I swallowed hard at her and held her fierce gaze and nodded. 

I let out a shaky sigh and dropped my chin to my chest. When we get home, I’ll have to talk about this. I can’t let it eat away at me. Why didn’t she ever mention it before? Did she ever have any sort of feelings for Dermont? God, did he kiss her? Did he touch her? Does he know her favorite spot to be kissed on her neck? Does he have his own personal smile? Fuck I’m going to hurl!

“Ashlynn!” Emily called as she held something out in front of my face as it came up. I wrapped my hands around the small bin and hurled into it. Tears stung my throat and nose as I emptied my stomach for anyone wanting to watch or hear. 

I continued to dry heave for a few moments with Chris’ hand on my back rubbing gentle circles. Emily and her were speaking softly to one other their words not loud enough for me to hear over my heaving. God, am I a pathetic idiot or what?

“Hey Ashlynn you okay buddy?” I swallowed down the water Emily handed me and looked up at her with a nod. “Chris is going to take you home okay?” I nodded again. 

They both then helped me to my feet and we walked slowly to the car. Chris unlocked the door and Emily helped me in as Chris slid into the driver’s seat. She reached over and strapped me in and told Emily bye. 

“Text me later Chris,” Emily said before she closed the door. I immediately leaned against the door and pressed my temple against the cool glass. Closing my eyes, I allowed the drive to lull me to sleep. 

“You want to talk about it?”

The words sat heavy in the room. I was sitting up in her bed a glass of ginger ale in my hands wearing comfortable pajamas ready to pass out. Throwing up always takes it out of me and this one had been intense. 

“What?” I croaked out my throat a little tender. Clearing my throat, I set the glass down. “Talk about what?”

“What made you so upset,” she said softly coming and sitting beside me. I immediately opened my mouth to argue it was a cold or upset stomach but her look was so soft.

“Coach told me why you had been with Dermont.”

“And that upset you.”

“Not that as much as what could have happened with you. I mean I could picture him kissing you and it made me so sick.” 

I bowed my head feeling like a pouting jealous toddler. We are both grown woman and Chris is her own person. I don’t own her like a possession and I’ve had my own relationships before her. Still the thought of that smug prick with her makes me want to dry heave again. 

“Please look at me when I say this,” she said softly with a hand on my chin. I lifted my head and was greeted with the softest kiss. “I love you Ashlynn,” she breathed. I felt my chest tighten at her declaration and tears filled my eyes. Was this where she broke my heart?

“I love you too Chris.” She released my chin to hold my hand her fingers lacing through mine holding my hand tightly. 

“Dermont was something all for show. They had been on me about it and I put it off for as long as I could. I mean I was crazy in love with you so why would I want to pretend to date someone else?” she snorted. “Anyway, I couldn’t take the badgering anymore and agreed to it. I let him know it was just for public and there was nothing more than hand holding for PDA.”

“He likes touching you,” I breathed. She rolled her eyes.

“I’m not a fan. He’s all hard and smells like sweat. It’s nothing like you touching me.”

“I love touching you.”

“I love it too,” she said softly and lifted our joined hands and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. She set our hands into her lap. “I could only take so much and told them it was over. We were growing closer and I didn’t want that stupid façade to affect what could happen.”

“How did he take it?”

“Exactly like you would imagine. He threw a fit and tried to give me all the benefits I would receive by being seen with him. I think I threw up a little in my mouth during his speech.” The laugh that left my throat felt so relieving. Chris smiled at it and kissed my hand again. 

“I was never going to risk us and I never will,” she promised. 

“No kissing?” I teased and got a smirk back with an eye roll. 

“He wished!”

“I wish,” I said before yanking her back onto the bed with me her lying over my chest. She giggled at me before kissing me softly. I ran my hands up and down her back gently as she kept the pace gentle and slow. 

“You feel safe,” she said after gently pulling away and kissing my chin. She rested her hands over my chest and dropped her chin against them. “And warm and strong. I love that you’re so tall and I’m so in love with your broad shoulders.” I smiled up at her slipping my hands under her shirt needing to feel her bare skin. “And god do you smell so good.” She tucked her face into my neck inhaling deeply her lips tickling my skin. 

I swallowed the lump down in my throat her sweet words had caused. “I love that you’re always happy to see me and god that fucking smile. Your smile does something to me Chris. Like it will kill me one day because my heart can’t take the overstimulation anymore. You fit so perfectly in my arms. I love how you constantly touch me even if there is a hundred people around us and were in two different conversations and sitting right next to each other.” 

“You make me so happy,” she whispered tears glistening in her eyes because of my words after she lifted her head. 

“You make me so happy,” I repeated and kissed her forehead. “Hey,” I said wanting to see her beautiful green eyes. “You’ll marry me one day, right?” The tears that had been shining now fell down. I was quick to wipe them away as she nodded her bottom lip trembling. “I want to spend the rest of my life loving you Christen.” She ducked her head and kissed me so deeply I could feel all the breath leave my lungs. 

“Me too Ashlynn.”

Okay so it’s time to tell Chris about high school and my ex. The only thing is I’m sure it’s going to make me cry. It was a painful time in my life and I spent months trying to get over feeling so lost and abused. I need to tell her as it’s important but it’s going to be exhausting. 

“Hey Chris,” I said from my position on the floor in front of the couch. She was lying down on it reading one of her hands running through my short hair. She loves the fauxhawk and her fingers are in it constantly scrapping at my scalp loving to make my eyes close. 

“Mhmm?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Of course.”

“But I need you to stay where you are, okay? If I see your face I’ll start to cry.”

“Baby?” she breathed her voice shaky.

“No,” I said my voice firm. “It’s nothing about us. I need to tell you about my high school relationship.” I shrugged and tilted my head deeper into her hands. “We’re going to be playing my ex soon.”

“Oh,” she said weakly. “Okay.”

“Her name is Jackie and she was on the soccer team with me. She actually played in a club with Emily and she warned me she wasn’t any good.” I snorted and shook my head. “I should have listened.”

“Anyway, she started coming on to me with small lingering touches and smiles. I thought she was just friendly and affectionate but then she would sit next to me whenever we did team things. Before I knew it, she was under my skin and she was kissing me in the locker room when everyone was already dressed and gone.

“I remember the first time she had kissed me. As soon as the last person had left, she had shoved me against a row of lockers and threw herself at me. Her mouth was hot and insistent her fingers hard and painful into my side. It was new and fresh and I became quickly addicted to the feeling of being wanted.”

Scrubbing on my face I groaned.

“I was just a dumb teenager. It was all too much and not enough. I wanted everything with her and she knew it. The thing though was she wouldn’t let me. She kept me at arm’s length and kept me hidden. I mean the whole team knew but she still wouldn’t let me hold her hand around anyone. I couldn’t kiss her or even call her my girlfriend.

“I at first thought maybe she was in the closet. I could be patient with that. It’s a big deal and coming out is something private and I didn’t want to take that away from her. Instead though she had a boyfriend she was hiding from me. Well from both us,” I said with a shrug. 

“Ow!” I cried as Chris tugged sharply on my hair. 

“Oh god, sorry Ash!” she said removing her hand. I turned to her to glare but she was crying. 

“Hey,” I said softly hating seeing her tears.

“I got upset and I didn’t mean that.” I turned around to face her dashing them away with shaking fingers.

“You okay?”

“I hate that she hurt you like that. You are such a sweet amazing woman.” I nodded and kissed her cheek. 

“It’s okay because I have you now. She didn’t even make me even a quarter as happy as you do. I cried so much but you make me laugh and smile.”

“Can I take her out in the game?”

“Naw,” I said with a shake of my head. “You’re too classy for that. Besides she doesn’t mean anything to me. I just needed to share it with you.”

“Thank you,” she whispered and kissed me on the forehead. She pushed me back gently and got to her feet. She held her hands out for me and I frowned up at her too early to go to bed.

“Chris?”

“Come on,” she breathed pulling me to my feet. “I want to make love to my girlfriend. I need to show her how much she means to me.” I wasn’t about to argue and walked behind her our hands still joined. This woman is everything to me. 

I was stretching out trying to cool down after practice. My legs were hurting and I know I’ll need an ice bath. They were aching from running around the field. Everyone else was across the field slowly getting their things together or have already made it to the locker room. 

I laid back against the turf closing my eyes trying to stretch out my aching muscles in my back. Right now, I could go for a long slow massage from Chris. She is so good with her hands. Maybe I’ll get that later. I know she’s busy talking to Coach and had kissed me on the top of the head before going to converse. 

A sudden shadow fell over my face causing me to snap open my eyes. My jaw involuntarily clenched at the sight of the pompous ass standing over me. He looked like my nightmare in the flesh. God, what did anyone ever seen in him.

“Loogi,” he greeted. I rolled my eyes and sat up.

“Pike,” I returned and grudgingly got up to my feet. “What brings you to our practice?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t think you do,” I said rolling my shoulders my body painfully tense with him so close. “We don’t anything to discuss.”

“Christen.”

“You have no business talking about her,” I said hissing at him. He didn’t need to be worrying about my girlfriend.

“You’re an idiot Ashlynn,” he said raising a hand and shoving at my shoulder. “You’re fucking up her chances being seen with you.”

“My god,” I said rolling my eyes. “We aren’t back in the dark ages anymore. Sexual orientation isn’t going to keep her from playing professionally. You’re a fucking idiot!”

“Who wants a fucking dyke on their team?” he sneered him coming closer and pushing me again. I’m tall but so is he and he has more weight on me. 

“It’s about talent, you homophobic asshole. Not that you have an ounce of it.” Again, he shoved me and even with my feet planted I stumbled back a few steps. 

“You’re a fucking faggot,” he hissed this time his hand coming to my throat. I tried to shove it away but his fingers tightened his fingers digging into my skin. “She doesn’t need you fucking everything up!” He starting squeezing painfully tight making my eyes tear up. I couldn’t breathe and my hands clawed at the hand on my throat. 

“What the fuck prick?!” Emily hollered racing towards us. 

I could barely make out her before she collided with him knocking us both to the ground. I hit the ground hard grasping for air my hands clutching at my throat. My back lifted off the ground my body radiating in pain. 

“Fuck!” I hissed my throat raw and painful. 

“Dick!” Emily hissed and punched him in the face. He quickly rolled her off and went to hit her back. I scrambled to my feet quickly and pushed him back to the ground. We struggled on the ground punches thrown some missing but most from each connecting. 

“Stop! Fucking stop!” Coach yelled as strong hands pulled both of us back. I was yanked to my feet blood dripping down my face. 

“Coach!” Emily cried. “Pike attacked Logan. He was choking her!” 

We had a crowd around us now and I looked around for my girlfriend. She was standing more to the back of the group her face pale and looking terrified. I wanted to go to her but my arms were in a vice like grip. 

“Both of you in the office now!” Coach yelled at us. Dermont was pushed forward but the person continued to confine me in a too tight grip. 

“Coach!” Emily cried. “Why aren’t you listening?! He was attacking her!”

“Enough Cranklin!” she hollered and pushed through the crowd. We were both pushed through everyone my whole body felt like a constant throb. 

“Emily,” I hissed my voice breaking. “Take care of Chris.” 

“Right,” she said nodding at me as I was pushed along. My best friend, my ride and die since we were six. 

I didn’t want to take the time to send any texts. Instead I pulled up my favorites and pressed Chris’ number. I was exhausted and just needed to hear her voice. My throat was still tender but I got to leave the hospital and just needed her.

“Hey,” I greeted my voice raspy and weak. 

“Are you okay?”

“Are you?” I asked remembering how she had looked when I saw her after they had broken us apart. 

“Can I pick you up?” she asked instead of answering. “Where are you?” I sighed knowing she was worked up and worried. 

“Leaving the hospital. Is Emily there?”

“She left half an hour ago. Ash?”

“Can I come over?” I asked just wanting to be in her arms. 

“Yes, of course.”

“I have an uber. I’ll see you in fifteen.”

“Okay.”

“Bye baby.” I could hear her relieved sigh and it was like a punch to the gut. “I love you Chris.”

“I love you too Ash. I’ll see you soon.”

She opened the door before it opened and had taken a few steps towards me but stopped when I stepped into the light. I know it looks pretty bad. My throat has dark bruises and my face has them as well as cuts and scrapes. I look like I was just a contender for a heavy weight fight.

“Hey baby,” I breathed out my voice still weak and sore. She swallowed hard and took a few tentative steps to me before stopping right in front of me. 

“Hey,” she whispered back and lifted an unsure hand to my cheek. I turned my head into her touch and shut my eyes desperately wanting her to comfort me. “You look- “she trailed off and I sighed opening my eyes her.

“I know,” I said taking her hand into mine and holding it at my side. “They said I’m okay.”

“Does it hurt?” she asked her gaze focused on the mess on my throat. I didn’t really want to talk more than I needed to so I nodded. 

“Really tender.” 

“Want to lie down?”

“God yes,” I breathed out and went to squeeze her hand but she pulled away from me and turned to go back in. I frowned at her back but followed her in. 

Chris has been known to be quiet when she’s upset. She’s an overthinker and worries too much. Right now, I’m sure the gears are overrunning and smoke is going to come from her ears. 

Still I followed behind her as lead me to her room. She busied herself with pulling out some of my clothes from one of her drawers I left here for bed. Placing them on the bed she slipped into the bathroom her own clothes into her hands and shut the door behind her. 

“Chris?” I called out frowning at the closed door behind her. Was she hiding from me?

“Minute,” she called out through the door. I could hear water running a minute later and then the drop of her toothbrush in the cup next to the tap. “Hey,” she said coming out and quickly moved to her bedroom door. She held the knob in her hand with her back to it. 

“Where are you going?” I asked as she was placing herself halfway out the room. 

“Couch.”

“No,” I said shaking my head. “Why would you sleep out there? Come to bed.”

“You’re hurt, I don’t want to bump you.”

“Chris, you’ll be fine.” She shook her head. 

“I’ll survive a night on the couch Ashlynn.” She was speaking as she was sneaking out. “I’ll see you in the morning.” With that she closed the door and left me in the room standing there feeling completely lost. 

I had come here to seek comfort. She’s my girlfriend and the only one that can make me feel better. I’m scared and hurt and all I want is her hands and smell around me. Now I’m here standing alone in her room staring at her closed door. 

Instead of feeling scared I began to feel frustrated and upset. Why was she running? She was afraid of bumping into me? Right now, I want her long slim body draped over me her scent overwhelming my senses and calming me the fuck down.

Before I could think it through, I threw open the door and stomped into the living room. She jumped to her feet at me her face showing her surprise. By now she knows my facial expression and to see it now she looks so confused. 

“I need you,” I hissed.

“I’m here,” she said shaking her head at me. 

“No,” I said and stomped my foot like a child. “I need you to make me feel better Chris. I just got hurt and you’re running away from me!”

“I’m not running,” she argued shaking her head. “I’m giving you space. I don’t- “

“I don’t want fucking space!” I hollered. “I want my fuckin girlfriend lying on top of me! I hurt all over Christen and I just need you! I need you to touch me and make me know I’ll get better.” I took two large steps and stood in front of her. My front was pressed against her my breath heavy and harsh pushing against the hair on her forehead. “Hands were around my fucking neck and I couldn’t breathe. I was so afraid. I was so afraid I wouldn’t see you anymore. I wouldn’t get to touch you or kiss you or see your smile anymore. I was so afraid I wouldn’t get to have you turn into me anymore looking for my affection.”

“He hurt you because- “

“No,” I breathed out harshly and yanked her roughly against me. I know it hurt her as she left out a pained grunt. “Don’t,” I hissed against the top of her head my arms so tight against her. “Don’t you place blame on anyone but that bastard! He was the one Chris. He was the one that hurt me.” 

“I hate it,” she said and pushed her face into my chest. “I hate that you got hurt. I hate that he spoke to you was because of me. I let them put me together with him because of soccer. I let soccer be too important.”

“Shh,” I said kissing the top of her head. “It’s not your fault,” I promised. “Please just come back to bed. Hold me baby,” I breathed still holding her too tightly. 

“Okay, but let me know if I hurt you.” I pulled back slightly enough to hold her face into my hands and kissed her nose. 

“Your touch does everything to me but that,” I breathed out before softly kissing her lips. “I love you Christen.”

“I love you so much Ashlynn.”

“Come on,” I said taking her hand and leading her back to bed. 

I let her slide under first and then followed her. A loud sigh left my lips as she wrapped herself around me. It felt so good to have her here and touching me. I pulled her completely on top of me and smiled when she tucked her face into my neck. Without having to say anything she knows what I need. I pulled the covers over us and kissed the top of her head. 

Everything had been too much today and it only took me a few minutes before I was pulled under. I was so comfortable with Chris so close. Her touch and smell calmed me like nothing I had ever know before. This woman is it for me. 

“You can’t be fucking serious!”

I blinked at the yelling that broke through my sleep. My arms were empty and I slowly sat up. The bed was empty beside me and I knew it had been Christen. She was upset and I needed to help her. 

“Fuck off!” she hissed followed by something breaking. 

I quickly jumped to my feet and ran into the living room. She was standing across from a guy in a suit not looking the least bit pleased. I could almost see steam come from her ears. I’m not sure what is going on but I slowly approached. 

“Christen,” I said softly not wanting to spook her. She still jumped and crossed her arms over her chest turning to me. 

“Morning,” she greeted and walked to me pressing herself against me. “Sorry for waking you,” she whispered. 

“S’okay,” I said kissing her forehead. “What’s going on?”

“Lawyer,” she said mumbling against my chest. “Fucking douche.”

I bit down on my tongue to keep the laugh from escaping. Chris isn’t one that is big on swearing. I think the only time I’ve ever heard them is when we’re in bed and she’s got a hand full of my hair and her spine arching off the mattress. 

“Is it for Pike?” She nodded her hands taking handfuls of my shirt.

“What do they want with you? You weren’t even there.”

“They think our fake dating would make me feel bad for him and I’d stand up with him.”

“Over your girlfriend?” I croaked. 

“Yes, but it’s not going to happen Ashlynn. I didn’t even need to see anything. I’ll always choice you. I’ll always have your back.”

“Can he go then?” I asked wanting to go back to sleep with my personal electric blanket. 

“Yes,” she said kissing me on a tender spot on my neck. “Go back to bed. I’ll be done in a minute.”

“Don’t step in the glass,” I said to her before lowering my head and kissing her softly. “I love you.”

“I’m leaving it for you,” she teased kissing me again before I pulled away. “I love you too.” 

I didn’t know this could be hard. How can being with Christen be hard? Any time we were even within ten feet of each other on the field we would get booed. Social media was brutal and I just got fed up and turned off my notifications. The thing with Dermont got him kicked off the team and it apparently was all my fault. 

It was hurting my relationship with my girlfriend. I couldn’t be with her in public without some mean words being thrown at me. They don’t care that the men’s team captain had his hands around my throat. They were torn apart that I was in the way of Christen and Dermont dating and I got him expelled from school. I’m the scum of the earth.

She was trying to be her sweet kind self but it wasn’t helping. I know she had nothing to with this backlash but it was so hard to be a part of it. All I wanted was to be in love and be loved without so many people hating me. 

“Logi,” Emily said softly coming up beside me and dropped beside me in the grass. She held out a cardboard cup with a sleeve to me. I gratefully took it know it would be warm now that my body had turned numb already.

“Thanks Ems,” I said and took a long drink of the hot chocolate. 

“Chris gave it to me before I came out here.” Right, of course it was my girlfriend. Who else would think of something like that? She was always thoughtful even when I was slowly pulling away from her. 

“My favorite,” I mumbled sloshing the cup around keeping my hands busy. 

“You okay Ash?” she asked after a long quiet moment. She’s never been good with silence. I shrugged. 

“I’m fine.”

“I can’t imagine how hard this is right now. The best thing is that you have someone to go through this with though. Chris is right by your side.”

“Really Emily?” I asked bowing my head my heart so heavy. 

“Ash,” she breathed out shaking her head. “Please I know but she makes you so happy. You two are so in love with each other. My heart drops to my feet every time they boo at you and see how much it hurts you. Chris looks so broken when all she wants to do is comfort you but you just walk away from her.”

“They hate me.”

“They’re idiots Ashlynn,” she huffed. “They think they know but they don’t know shit! They didn’t see that fucking asshole with his hands around your neck! They don’t know how Christen brightens when you walk into the room. They don’t know that you were both carved out of a stone and are literally the other half of one soul.”

“Shit,” I whispered surprised at deep Emily. 

“That woman eats, breathes, and lives soccer. She is soccer for this school Ash. She’d give it all up for all you in a heartbeat. If you just asked, she would stay at home and raise your children while you worked some dead-end job.” I couldn’t hold the chuckle and took one last long drink before getting to my feet. 

“I would do the same Ems,” I said a small smile on my lips. “She lives soccer but I live Christen.”

“Go get your girl Logi,” Emily said after a relieved sigh. 

“Great idea,” I teased and went to go love on my girlfriend. 

“Hey,” I said coming up behind her slipping my arms around her waist. She was in the bathroom looking at herself taking off her makeup. 

“Ashlynn,” she said her voice heavy. 

“Baby,” I said hating how sad she sounded. “I left the most important thing here earlier.”

“Oh, well I’m sure I didn’t touch anything. What is it?” I was standing up straight looking at our reflection in the mirror. Holding my breath, I tightened my arms around her. 

“Look up Christen,” I whispered. She brought her head up and slowly lifted her eyes. My eyes were staring at her reflection. “Did you find it?” I could feel the sob build in her chest as her hands came up holding onto the tight grip around her. 

“Oh,” she said her voice trembling. 

“Thank you for standing by me through this. I know it’s been hard but I’m not going anywhere. They can say as much shit as they want to but they’re not going to take you away from me. I’m so deeply in love with you Christen Press and I’m going to be forever. Forever,” I promised kissing her on the cheek. 

She turned and sobbed against to me. I know this was my fault. I had been the one pulling away from her while she has been standing strong for us. Every time I pulled away, I could see her chipping away but she never stopped smiling or loving me. I was an ass and could have potentially lost the best thing that will happen to me. 

“I’m an idiot,” I breathed into the top of her head. “I’m so sorry.”

“Ash,” she sobbed into my chest.

“Chris,” I croaked hating how her sobs sounded like they were literally coming from her soul. “Baby please.” 

I held her until she stopped and brought her head back to meet my eyes. Her cheeks were red and tear stained and her face was all blotchy. Shaking my head, I wiped away all remnants of her tears and kissed her cheeks. She lifted her hands and held handfuls of my shirt clinging to it. 

“I hate how they treat you,” she breathed gnawing on her bottom lip. “You’re so amazing and they don’t even try.”

“The most important thing in the world to me knows that and that’s all that matters.” I bent forward and kissed her slow and softly. She sighed into my mouth and brought her hands up to my neck and hair. Her long thin fingers threaded through the short hair at the back of my head and tugged lightly as she started to suck on my bottom lip. 

Something I have learned since we’ve moved into an intimate relationship is that when Christen is upset as in, we lost a game or had a bad practice she likes to make love slowly. She likes to be taken with all the time in the world and given so many orgasms we both lose count. The way she likes to initiate that is to tug on my hair and suck on my bottom lip like she is right now. 

Not needing anything other than her go to signals I put my hands on her thighs and lifted her up. She instantly wrapped her arms around my waist and gave a gentle sigh into my mouth. Chris knows I’m about to take care of her. She knows I’ll spend the entire night showing her how much I love her and what she means to me. 

“Baby,” I breathed lying her down on the bed immediately lying on her. “God Chris, baby, you feel so good.”

It’s been too long and Chris likes to be praised during being fucked slowly. I’ve been so far away trying to keep my distance because of all Dermont’s crazy fans. Now though I’m about to make her feel good again. She’s my amazing girlfriend and I want to do everything to show her how much she means to me. 

I lifted the soft shirt she was wearing to bed and pressed my lips to her stomach. She has amazing abs that I love kissing. Her hands went to my hair as I kissed the skin. Her skin smelled like my favorite lotion she uses as my lips tasted her skin. 

I continued to raise it up teasing her exposed skin before she pulled it up and over her head and then threw it somewhere on the floor. My nose teased at her breasts before I took a nipple in my mouth bringing it firm under my tongue. She moaned and moved underneath me as I suckled on one and used my hand to tease the other. 

My girlfriend with her cinnamon skin looked amazing with her grip desperate and her bottom lip being gnawed on. She was anxious for her first orgasm. I know it’s been too long. I’ve been a horrible girlfriend and we both needed the stress relief. 

Moving up to her neck I slipped my hand into her shorts and instantly slipped into her wet folds. She arched into the touch a moan escaping her lips as she tried to find friction. Of course, I’m going to give her exactly what she wants and more. The first one I’ll bring it quickly and after that I’ll drag it out. I know from the restlessness of her touch she is needy and impatient. 

“Fuck baby,” I breathed as my fingertips found her clit. “So wet for me.”

“You,” she whined her hips moving with my stokes. “Only for you.” 

In bed she also likes possession. She likes to belong to me. I mean yeah, it’s a very addictive feeling and I can’t help to be engrossed in it when she’s under me with her nails scratching at my back her hot whimpers in my ear. 

My fingers swirled around her clit both our breathing loud and ragged in the silent room. I was between marking up her neck and biting on the skin. It was too quick but not soon enough when I felt her start to tremble and her nails biting at my shoulders. 

“Ash,” she cried out as I felt her clit throbbing against me. 

“Chris,” I whispered moving to her ear. “You feel so good baby girl. You came for me so good.”

“Feels so good,” she whined moving her body so I would out my fingers inside. “You feel so good.”

“Wait for it,” I breathed nibbling on her ear. “Be a good girl and wait for it.”

“Ashlynn,” she cried out her hands moving to tug on my shirt. “Want to feel you.”

“Okay baby,” I said moving slightly so I could remove my shirt. She pouted momentarily until I was pressed against her again. With both sighed as I moved down over her body and stopped between her thighs. “Such a good girl,” I breathed before slipping my tongue in. 

Another win under our belts and we went out to celebrate. I was last to meet the group as I had to wrap some things up with the Dermont bullshit. He’s fighting so hard to be let back in school. I could care less what happens all I know is I want him far away from me and even further away from Christen. 

Chris, Emily, and Monica had all went together and I slipped in while they were already a few drinks in. I can happily admit I love a tipsy Chris. My girlfriend is already affectionate but when the alcohol kicks in she’s so touchy it’s amazing. I don’t think last time we had hit the bar her hands had stopped touching me all night. 

I found them quickly and stopped to talk to some of the team while making my way slowly to them. They were sitting at the bar Chris sitting to the left of them. Emily and Monica were definitely into each other and Chris was speaking to the guy next to her. 

I could tell by her body language she was being polite but didn’t really want to be involve. Her head kept ducking to check her phone I’m sure looking for a text from me. I went to go save her when one of the girl’s pulled me into a conversation I couldn’t help but get caught in. 

Five minutes past before I got back to my senses and looked back up at the women. Both Emily and Monica were standing next to Chris looking to be talking to the guy. I quickly got to my feet and approached them. Chris’ posture was tense and it didn’t look good. 

“Hey baby,” I said sliding between them and wrapping an arm around my girlfriend’s arm. “You okay?”

“She was just telling this loser to get lost,” Monica said with a deadly glare at the guy who was now smirking at me. 

“Is this the girlfriend?” he chuckled. “Really?”

“I’m not sure what is going on,” I said looking at him. “I am her girlfriend though.”

“I guess it’s not that much of a stretch then. She looks a bit masculine.” I flinched as if he hit me. Sure, there is no way I’m as feminine as Chris is, I don’t think anyone is. Yet there is no way I resemble a guy. My hair may be short but he’s just trying to push buttons here. 

“Fuck off,” Emily hissed. Monica had her hand on her chest keeping her back. 

“This is enough,” Chris hissed getting to her feet. She went around the stool and took my hand. “Not worth our time.” She tugged me away and I watched him smirk as we walked away. 

We all followed her away and to the tables out back. She pushed me into a seat and then dropped down into my lap. I instantly wrapped my arms around her and let her snuggle close. She kissed my neck a few times before pressing her face into my neck. 

“He was a drunk idiot,” she murmured against my neck. 

“Of course, he was,” I said nodding at the girls who were slipping back inside. “He thought he had a chance with you. I mean I had to work for two years.” She giggled against my throat.

“You could have had me the second I saw you at camp. All you had to do was say the word.”

“What word would that have been?”

“Hey,” she said with a laugh. I grinned at her carefree joy and squeezed her tightly. 

“Hey,” I said into her ear. “I heard your lips are like skittles. Can I taste the rainbow?” She pulled back at me to give me a dopey smile before pulling me into a deep breath stealing kiss. 

“God you are so perfect,” she said keeping her mouth close to mine. 

“Naw but I’m pretty sure you are,” I said with a smirk.

“Have I told you lately how I’m so in love with you?” I shook my head playfully and nipped at her lips. 

My favorite was her full bottom one. I could kiss it and nibble on it forever. She tasted better than anything I had ever had before and ever will. 

“I love you so much Ashlynn Elizabeth Logan. I can’t wait until we get married,” she breathed against my mouth. 

“Are you going to be Mrs. Logan?” I asked tilting my head and went to feasting on her neck. She had her hair down and it was a mess of curls, my favorite.

“God yes,” she whispered a hand going to tug at the back of my hair. 

The thought radiated joy throughout my body. Just to know this woman on my lap was my present and my future. She was going to stumble through life with me and was looking forward to it. I know through it there will be bumps and we won’t always be so happy and carefree. However, I’ll go through hell and back with her in a heartbeat. 

“Hey Mrs. Logan,” I teased against her lips. “Let’s get this promise started.”

She frowned at me as I pulled away and slipped a ring from my pocket. It wasn’t anything too elaborate. Me and the girls had gone out one-night Chris was tutoring and went to a jeweler. I mean I spent money that I shouldn’t have but it’s nothing like the engagement ring I know I’ll splurge on. 

“Ashlynn,” she breathed out as I help up the ring catching the fairy lights. 

“It’s a promise ring,” I clarified. “I want to promise that once school’s done there’s nothing that’s going to stop us Chris. I love you so much and I just want you and everyone else to see it.”

“It’s so beautiful,” she breathed watching the diamond and the sapphires catch the light. 

“You are,” I said sounding so corny as I slid it on her left ring finger. “Christen will you stay with me always?”

“Always,” she breathed out her promise her ring and her tears glistening in the light. I beamed so happy and gratefully accepted her soul stealing kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> First work on here. Please let me know what you think. I really want to write an angsty one with Tobin but well see how this goes first. It's not necessarily finished but I had to stepped away from it for a bit.


End file.
